Of Mountains and Rivers Chapter 3
Prologue: Chu Huan
In the early morning, Chu Huan swept the ashes into a pile and stood on the stool again to look up into the big wardrobe; there, he found the cat’s already-cold and stiff body. It made an exception to jump on his bed yesterday, probably to bid him farewell.
Chu Huan rolled his sleeves up and laid on top of the dusty wardrobe, unable to figure out the feeling in his heart. Suddenly, his phone vibrated. He picked it up and looked down. It was a message from the nursing worker: It’s time. Come and say bye-bye to me.
Chu Huan and the fifty-something-year-old nursing worker didn’t have any improper relationships outside of business, so this kind of incomprehensible message must’ve come from Chu Aiguo. Who knew how that old fellow took away their phone?
Chu Huan put his military equipment and guns away, changed into a fully black outfit, organised a simple suitcase, and dug out an old shoe box to put the cat in. He covered its body with the ashes burnt from paper, exposing only its round head, and buried it under the big pine tree downstairs. After, he pushed down the brim of his hat, stopped a taxi from the side of the road, told the driver the name of the hospital, and leaned back onto the car seat to close his eyes and rest.
He was going to visit Chu Aiguo.
En, for the last time.
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Chu Aiguo was a strange man. Some said he looked like the crosstalking Mr Ma Sanli. Due to the number of people that told him this, Chu Aiguo became one of Mr Ma’s fans; whenever he had time, he’d hold a small radio and listen to him. After a while, began learning the other’s tone and way of speaking. Soon enough, he became a super dead-ringer who could easily be mistaken as the real deal.
The ward he lived in was a single room. After he entered, Chu Huan closed the door and was about to walk in further before a bedridden old man who was as thin as a zombie stopped him.
Although the old man had a hoarse voice, he talked with a slow and easeful tone. “Hey- Wait, where’s your luggage?”
Chu Huan’s footsteps paused. He took out a napkin from his trouser pockets and smoothed it out before folding it a few times. Drawing a steel needle from his cuffs, he bent it with his bare hands, fixed it into the napkin, and quickly made a simple white flower that he pinned to his neckline. Facing the windowpane and adjusting his black suit jacket, he completed his ‘swept his ancestor’s tomb for the Qingming festival’ appearance before finally stepping forwards to the old man’s bed.
Chu Huan: “Mr Chu Aiguo…”
Chu Aiguo’s cloudy eyes stared at him before an intimidating glint suddenly lit up from within. “What kind of expression is that? You… Make a more joyous expression.”
Chu Huan looked down at his attire and bent down to his adoptive father. “You’re going to depart from the world forever. Is it appropriate to look joyful?”
“How’s it not appropriate? It’s a joy to live and a joy to die.” Every time Chu Aiguo breathed, a terrible noise would sound from his chest, sounding as if his lungs were leaking. He babbled and continued laboriously, “If I don’t listen to the phrase ‘who-and-who will live forever in your heart’, wouldn’t I become a holdout? Where are you going to put my daughter-in-law in the future?”
“Your heart worries too much about the future. Who knows in which lesbian’s belly your daughter-in-law’s residing right now?” Chu Huan paused, then compromisingly asked, “Which passage do you plan on listening to?”
Chu Aiguo: “The one from Love Your Belly Even When Choked to Death.”
Chu Huan spent half a minute thinking before realising what this ‘Love Your Belly Even When Choked to Death’ was. Feeling melancholy, he sighed and tried to reason with Chu Aiguo. “Dad, that’s used for marriage.”
Chu Aiguo was furious upon hearing this. His skinny fist slammed the hospital bed, making several bangs, and mourned with three sighs before saying, “It’s because… It’s because I’ve only got a few minutes left to live. And, and, nobody cares anymore, nobody visits me anymore, and now I'm the old cabbage core rotting in the vegetable field…”
“Fine, fine, fine, if you want to get married, then get married,” Chu Huan surrendered quickly and lowered his voice to ask, “Then who are you planning to get married with?”
Chu Aiguo: “I plan to marry the King of Hell and make him your stepmother.”
Chu Huan was thoroughly subdued by his father’s imposing attitude of wanting to become a kept man even after death. “Dad, with your divinity, I think I may not be able to reunite with my stepmother for a little while. Maybe you’ll borrow another five hundred years from the heavens.”
“This is called ‘the dying flash of lucidity before death’.”Chu Aiguo gazed at him faintly. “‘Borrow my ass.”
Chu Huan moved a chair and sat beside him, asking softly, “Why can’t you borrow?”
Chu Aiguo laughed with a broken bellow and raised his sparse eyebrows, radiating an unruliness even age and time couldn’t take away. “This old man has too many bad loan records – they’re afraid of me.”
Chu Huan looked at him steadily and brewed for a moment before speaking with an affected tone, “Mr Chu Aiguo, may I ask if you are under the Lord King of Hell's call to accept the sacred death ceremony?”
Chu Aiguo answered cooperatively, “Who said I wasn’t?”
Chu Huan: “Are you willing to leave this… Populated world? To, like you’re throwing away a tattered rag, say goodbye to it; to never see it again; to never reminiscence it, and, in the days to come – whether there be peace or war, joy or devastation – to never care about it; to forget about everything until the world forgets about you?"
Chu Aiguo was quite dissatisfied with this silly emcee and scolded, “Don’t you have anything good to say? Who the fuck would want to leave after that?”
Chu Yuan responded softly with a blank expression. “Then Dad, I’m afraid I can’t help you anymore.”
After a moment of shock from those words, Chu Aiguo whispered, “You’re right. Go get my… Go open the bedside table and take out the box inside for me.”
Chu Huan found the box according to his instructions, opened it, and found a plain, platinum ring.
“There are words on it. Do you see?” Chu Aiguo asked.
Engraved with great artistic style around the ring was something that damaged the beautiful scenery – ‘just teasing you’.
Chu Huan: “Just teasing you?”
Chu Aiguo nodded with difficulty. “Just teasing you. Tell me, have you… Have you felt this way recently?”
Chu Huan: “What way?”
Chu Aiguo raised his skinny hand and held onto Chu Huan’s wrist. “In a way where you don’t have expectations for anything; that you have no aspirations for life; that no matter what you do you can’t seem to find happiness. In a way where your headaches would hurt so bad you go into a trance, but you can’t even bother to do anything about it…”
Chu Huan pretended to be shocked. “Dad, fame must’ve muddled your brain – can you not be so old yet so licentious?”
Chu Aiguo turned a deaf ear, his muddy eyes staring at him scorchingly. “Was I?”
Chu Huan said without even blinking, “Definitely not.”
Chu Aiguo’s hand tightened. “Speak the truth.”
Chu Huan: “…”
This time, he stayed silent for longer, the gaze behind his lenses unreadable and heavy. A long while passed before he touched the corner of his mouth and responded frivolously, “Only occasionally. It’s not like anyone reprimands you or you hurt anyone.”
Chu Aiguo spat out a long, foul breath. “Once, I saw you standing by the window. It looked like you were about to jump…”
Chu Huan laughed. “Impossible. If I hit the ground, I’ll be polluting the environment – do you think I’m that unethical?”
Chu Aiguo ignored his jokes and silently stared at him for a long time. Chu Huan was finally defeated by the old demon’s aggressive gaze and took the initiative to look away. His smile faded. “…Just that one time.”
Chu Aiguo: “How come you didn’t jump?”
Chu Huan replied: “I hadn’t caught the 'two Ghosts' yet.”
Chu Aiguo closed his eyes. “Since you can still think like this, that means you can still be saved. You… You must remember the mighty pillars of this country-”
Chu Huan interrupted him, feeling this was more than he could bear, “Forget it, I’ve already checked the dictionary. Don’t you just mean that big wooden pillar?”
“So what if I mean that big wooden pillar? Patterning your body with a circle of mountains and rivers can let you support both heaven and earth.” Chu Aiguo glared. “But just because you can support both heaven and earth… That doesn’t mean you must be the only pillar of support.”
The corners of Chu Huan’s eyes twitched. “Dad, is it because you have nowhere else to act like a hooligan that you’re coming at me?”
Chu Aiguo took a deep breath and looked at the bag Chu Huan placed by the doors of his ward. His voice trembled, his breaths like gossamer. “You bastard, you really are dirty-minded… What I mean is, you have to go out and see the outside world a bit more. Don’t always think about doing things on your own. Once the main problem is solved, then all problems are solved, regardless of life or death. Right now, nobody’s putting any weight on your shoulders, so don’t always waste time on insignificant problems by yourself. If there’s a day you truly can’t handle it anymore, just go to the hospital and get some prescribed medicine – it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Don’t just stubbornly deal with it yourself… Alright? Once I’m not here, nobody would be able to control you anymore, sigh…”
Chu Huan didn’t say a single word. It was as if he really accepted all these words, yet also as if he’d made up his mind to pay lip service.
Chu Aiguo gave him a look of concern. “Are you travelling?”
Chu Huan nodded. “En. I’ll be going in a few days. However, I need to finish some business first.”
“What’ll happen to Da Mi if you leave? Who’ll take care of her?”
Chu Huan paused. “Da Mi died of old age.”
“Alas,” Chu Aiguo sighed with emotion. “This isn’t good – I’ve sinned, I’ve sinned. I’m the one dying, yet I caused a small female cat to sacrifice herself in the name of love.”
Chu Huan stared at his caged and lifeless expression and thought it’d be cruel if he was to tell him the truth at this time. So he concealed the fact that Da Mi was actually a male, saving the old man’s swirling, rose-colored bestiality romance fantasy.
Both young and old were silent for a moment. The old man’s strength just then seemed to have been exhausted. He could feel his life slipping away faster than ever.
Sunshine swept in through the window’s lattice. It was a clear sunny day. Chu Aiguo spoke in a tone like gossamer, “You… Put on the ring.”
The first ring he was ever going to wear in his life turned out to be from his bald dad. Chu Huan thought reality was a bit cruel, but he still wore it obediently around his middle finger.
The ring fitted perfectly – the three words ‘just teasing you’ were as if tailored for him.
“It’s almost time,” the old man said, slowly raising his eyes.
At that moment, old eyes met young ones. The young man’s eyes were secluded. If one was to glance into them, they'd feel their heart turn cold.
Chu Huan restrained the exhaustion he felt consuming his body and replied with a low voice. “En.”
Chu Aiguo asked: “Can you live to be seventy or eighty?”
Chu Huan hesitated for a while before carefully replying, “I’ll try.”
Chu Aiguo asked: “What’ll you do when you encounter difficulties?”
Chu Huan seemed to be carefully thinking through this question; he thought for a long while before a miserly smile appeared on his face. “Just tease you.”
“Good, good – you have to be good…” Chu Aiguo grabbed Chu Huan’s hands and shook them, appearing to have exhausted his very last strength.
Afterwards, his body suddenly stiffened. It was as if he no longer held worries and his mind became carefree; he even repeated several ‘good’s before finally closing his eyes.
Chu Huan held the still-warm hands that’d just crossed the border between life and death and closed his own eyes; from the distance, he thought he could hear wind pouring into the room. Indifferent to the passing of time, ashes of frosty loneliness fluttered from his heart.
“Okay,” he spoke to the person who could no longer hear, "Goodbye.”
He felt a heavy emptiness. Other than the arrogant two Ghosts' who hadn't been arrested and brought to justice yet, it felt as if only the word ‘good’ remained in the world. It weighed heavily down upon him and fixed his feet to the floor below him.
