Hotpot Restaurant 20
The first stage of the Human-Ghost Hot Pot Project battle plan officially commenced.
The organiser, Elder Lu, was in Fengdu Park, looking for a trustworthy collaborator.
This collaborator would be entering the underworld in the near future, then enter the Court of Hell, and communicate with the Yama King.
Elder Lu, Zheng Zi, and the little ghost wandered around the park, looked at the curse war that was happening, and felt that it wasn’t a good idea to entrust this task to any of these ghosts.
Human hearts were unpredictable, and so were the hearts of ghosts.
Elder Lu frowned, “I don’t trust them.”
Zheng Zi also frowned, “Neither do I.”
The little ghost was still young, but also frowned, “None of them look reliable.”
Elder Lu looked at the little ghost.
The little ghost sensed his gaze, stepped back, and looked at Elder Lu warily, “Old man, I don’t intend to go to Hell yet. I’m only seven-and-a-half years old.”
Zheng Zi called out a reminder from the side, “You were seven-and-a-half when you died; you’re already over forty this year.”
The little ghost was even more on guard, “Then, I am only forty-something years old. A hundred-year-old ghost is hard to find, but I can still be on earth for at least fifty plus years.”
Elder Lu’s ghost was straightforward, “Then Zheng Zi and I are only three or four ghost years old, with more than 90 years to go.”
Zheng Zi continued reminding, “And this is your idea.”
The little ghost: “……”
In the middle of the quiet night, in a secluded little corner, two old ghosts in white singlets faced off with a little ghost wearing a little yellow hat.
Their faces were solemn, and they were fighting with their eyes.
As fellow ghosts, they were familiar with each other’s circumstances.
So, the three of them began to give examples of each other’s diminished human attachments.
“Your younger brother is married with children; your parents have retired, and are receiving quite a large monthly pension.”
“Your grandson has finished his college entrance exams; your son has a perfect marriage and is planning to resume his old career!”
“Your grandson is having success in his studies abroad!”
Even Zheng Zi was accidentally pulled into the war.
They were now not much different from the group of ghosts arguing nearby.
At four in the morning, the birds started chirping.
Unable to win the verbal battle against the two old ghosts, the little ghost glared viciously at them and said, “It’s just the underworld, isn’t it. I’ll go, I’ll go.”
Elder Lu and Zheng Zi applauded, “Amazing! Do your best!”
The little ghost turned and left, sinking deep in thought: Why the hell did he talk so much? If he didn’t say anything, he wouldn’t have to go to the underworld so soon.
……
Unbeknownst to Meng Xiaoni, the fame of her hot pot eatery had abruptly exploded among the ghosts.
Suddenly, from that day onwards, ghosts speedily passed by Meng Xiaoni’s hot pot eatery one after another.
They moved extremely quickly; they took one look when they reached the place, and ran.
In the hearts of Fengdu’s ghosts, Meng Xiaoni’s hot pot eatery seemed to have become an attraction.
As for ghosts that actually came to eat hot pot, there was not a single one. Even Elder Lu did not follow his son, Lao Lu, to eat hot pot.
Both Meng Xiaoni and Guifeng found that somewhat mysterious.
It was still quite alright for Meng Xiaoni, but for Guifeng, it was like a group of ants staring at an elephant— one came over to take a look at the elephant, was amazed, turned around and told another ant, then, that ant would come over to look.
Guifeng’s annoyance meter filled up rapidly.
Meanwhile, Meng Xiaoni and Lao Lu officially signed a contract.
The monetary transaction between the two was witnessed by Father Meng and Mother Meng. They first paid a deposit of 20,000 yuan, then moved away the things on the first floor of the store, and found some workers as well.
The plumbing and electrical wiring had to be redone. To maximise the cost-benefits, because Lao Lu was familiar with the trade, he only employed two skilled workers that he knew, and quickly explained to them how it had to be redone.
The store was closed for the time being; Father Meng and Mother Meng packed up all the things in no time. They thew away what should be thrown and sold what can be sold. The ones that should be kept were moved to the second floor.
Many things were put on the second floor, which made the second floor become even more crowded.
There was also little free space in Meng Xiaoni’s room, and all of a sudden, it became extremely cramped.
Guifeng’s annoyance increased, reaching a peak on the day they received the notification for the medical examination.
As Guifeng was eating free food, he could only sulk; since his little parrot face did not show any expression, Meng Xiaoni did not notice anything at all.
Meng Xiaoni was very serious in her crowded little room, reading off from her mobile phone to Guifeng the things to take note of for the medical examination. “Are the daily eating and drinking habits normal? Is the breathing rate normal? The breathing rate of a parrot should be at 25 to 50 times a minute.”
Guifeng was expressionless.
“During the physical examination, you must bring the birdcage that it usually lives in, and pay attention to the issue of providing shelter from the wind.”
Guifeng remained expressionless.
“Ah…”
Meng Xiaoni gave a small cry of alarm; her gaze moved from the phone’s screen to the delicate Guifeng. “They want to check your stools, what should we do?”
Guifeng: “?”
Meng Xiaoni had never seen Guifeng go to the toilet.
She also didn’t know where Guifeng digested all the stuff he ate every day. Maybe he went to the toilet on his own without telling her?
Meng Xiaoni met Guifeng’s eyes, “Would you like to leave a little faeces for the medical examination?”
Guifeng: “……”
The two looked at each other for a long time.
Meng Xiaoni turned her head back and continued to look at the phone, “Okay, let’s look at the next point.”
Guifeng couldn’t listen anymore; he flapped his wings and flew to the top of the stacked boxes beside the bed, onto the pink wooden rocking horse. With a movement of his little feet, he began to rock.
Rock once, rock twice.
Meng Xiaoni carefully read every note to Guifeng and put her phone away after she finished reading. She came to a final conclusion, “To sum up, those are what you need to do to pretend to be a healthy parrot.”
It was really hard work.
Guifeng still did not speak; he tilted his head slightly and looked at Meng Xiaoni.
Meng Xiaoni raised her head, “Then, in the afternoon, someone from the Forestry Bureau will come to give you a medical examination.”
Guifeng was still sulking and didn’t want to talk.
Meng Xiaoni called out, “Guifeng?”
Guifeng’s decision was to tilt his head to another side.
Meng Xiaoni followed suit and tilted her head.
Guifeng was indifferent and didn’t speak, then turned his head back and tilted it.
Meng Xiaoni also turned and tilted.
The feathers on the Guifeng’s head suddenly exploded and he finally spoke, “Don’t you copy my actions.”
Meng Xiaoni couldn’t make her hair explode, so she only blinked, “Then, shall we first resolve the issue of the medical examination?”
Downstairs, something was being drilled, and there was a sudden “bzzzzt——” sound.
Guifeng’s feathers exploded even more.
He went from a docile little fluffy peach ruby parrot to a completely fried ruby parrot.
The renovation sounds were too noisy; Meng Xiaoni also had a little headache.
Meng Xiaoni got up, went to the side, and picked up her small bag. “Shall we go out to eat? Just something nearby. You’ve only been eating the fruit I cut these days, and didn’t really eat any main dishes.”
Guifeng didn’t say anything; his body flew honestly atop Meng Xiaoni’s head.
He spoke, “You’re not making it?”
Meng Xiaoni knew that Guifeng loved to eat food that she had handled, “I also want to make food for you, but the kitchen needs to be renovated. There is no way.”
Guifeng checked the condition of his parrot body and was silent.
Meng Xiaoni went downstairs with a smile on her face and poured water for the workers downstairs. She also gave a glass to Lao Lu, who was sitting in the corner, drawing plans.
Lao Lu did not raise his head; he took the glass of water and drank it all. “Thank you.”
Meng Xiaoni took the cup and poured another glass for Lao Lu. “Uncle Lu, I’m going out. This afternoon, you…”
Lao Lu quickly replied, “Boxed lunch. Your parents will bring it.”
Meng Xiaoni nodded.
Lao Lu had instructed her parents to visit the building materials market and various major furniture markets these days. They were to only browse, and not buy; this was just to see what kind of preferences they had. This was in preparations for when they had to choose materials for the store later, and they also had to renovate the apartment they had bought for Meng Xiaoni in the future.
The two would be back at noon for lunch, and also bring food for the workers.
Meng Xiaoni stopped disturbing Lao Lu. She took Guifeng and went out.
There were several hot pot restaurants in the vicinity, and several breakfast shops.
Meng Xiaoni walked in the shade to avoid the sun, “Guifeng, what you want to eat?”
Guifeng said wearily, “Nothing much.”
Meng Xiaoni thought about it. “Malatang1? I can make that.”
Guifeng did not say anything.
Meng Xiaoni took Guifeng’s silence as consent; she walked along the street for a while, she turned into a malatang store.
Malatang was much easier to prepare than hot pot.
The fridge on the side of the store was filled with all kinds of ingredients. The chef at the back of the store had already prepared the soup base; he only had to wait for customers to bring up their desired ingredients, then put them in colanders in batches.
Once the ingredients were cooked, he would put them in a bowl, pour in the soup, and it was done.
Of course, there were particular requirements for the soup base, and the freshness of the ingredients was also a priority.
The owner of this malatang store and Meng Xiaoni’s parents were acquainted with each other. As soon as Meng Xiaoni opened the door to enter, the lady boss greeted her with a smile, “Xiao Nizi, have you come to our place to eat?
Meng Xiaoni smiled and replied, “Mm. I’ll cook it myself, there’re many customers at noon.”
The lady boss scanned the few people scattered around the store, “No, there’s not many.”
Meng Xiaoni gestured at the little parrot on her head. “It’s rather delicate and pampered; it only eats what I make.”
The boss lady had long noticed the parrot on Meng Xiaoni’s head.
She was delighted at the sight of it, “Ah, how cute! If you want to cook it yourself, go ahead.”
Meng Xiaoni reminded Guifeng, “Say thank you.”
Guifeng was still sulking, but at the thought that the lady boss had allowed Meng Xiaoni to cook, it mumbled, “Thank you.”
It spoke strangely, but how could the boss lady make out the joy and sorrow of a parrot? She smiled happily when she heard that it could speak. “It’s amazing! But you have to keep an eye on the bird and wear a hat to keep it in place.”
Meng Xiaoni laughed lightly in response and quickly went to the side to choose her ingredients.
She took some of the vegetables they eat often, a bit of meat, and some meatballs.
Even though offal and the like smelled much less strongly in spicy soup, it was difficult to prepare in malatang. Meng Xiaoni avoided these as much as possible, and chose ingredients that were more filling.
She also took two eggs.
After picking out all the ingredients she wanted, Meng Xiaoni took them and headed to the back kitchen.
The kitchen was steaming hot and it was difficult to cool down even when the air conditioner was on.
Meng Xiaoni smiled at the chef when she entered, “Master, let me borrow a pot.”
The chef gestured towards a colander, “Here. Remember to put on a hat.”
Next, he gestured towards the cutting boards, “Cut the vegetables there. The left one for raw food and the right one for vegetables.”
Raw meat had to be cut on a separate cutting board from other things.
Meng Xiaoni knew the rules; she put on a hat, trapping Guifeng in place. She then placed the raw ingredients on the left and vegetables on the right, then cut them up separately with a knife.
Her sharp eyes caught sight of the kitchen mould next to her and she suddenly smiled.
Guifeng stayed on Meng Xiaoni’s head and was questioning himself: What was the point of sulking by himself? Who was he getting angry for? What for had he come to the human realm?
It didn’t even look at what Meng Xiaoni was doing at the moment.
It wasn’t until Meng Xiaoni put all the dishes into the pot in batches to cook did the chef next to her peer over and said, “You’re eating two eggs by yourself?”
Only then did he hear Meng Xiaoni reply, “One egg is for my parrot. Look, I specially chose a heart-shaped mould!”
Guifeng lowered his head.
He was smothered by the hot air that rushed up at him, and his whole body smelled like malatang.
Through the heat, he saw a heart-shaped mould in the colander; the egg inside was gradually taking shape in the boiling soup.
Guifeng’s anger suddenly subsided.
Humans, ghosts, Yama Kings.
To Guifeng, these were all just silly ranks.
Meng Xiaoni had now won special honours, and jumped out from such ranks.
He had nothing to be angry about.
The person next to him was Meng Xiaoni.
Also—
A bird that did not eat, would incur the wrath of both heaven and earth.
Thought Guifeng, who had become malatang-flavoured.
Footnotes:
1 malatang: 麻辣烫; directly translated as “spicy, numbing soup”, this is a Sichuan street food that is known as pick-and-mix express hotpot. One would take a bowl and a pair of tongs, then move along the open fridge and select their ingredients. Weigh the bowl, then choose the broth and spice level. The selection is then prepared by kitchen staff and ready in minutes.
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