Be My Heroine 48
Hello~ Sorry for the long wait but we are back with a new chapter!!
THE REPRESENTATIVE’S ONE WEEK
A damp stench permeated the air. If such a smell could be seen, it would exude a glum-looking gray with swirls of brown.
“What kind of hobby is this?”
“The kind where I visit places I’ve never gone before.”
A lone child stood in the middle of the street while many scrawny girls could be seen on the side. Their eyes showed vigilance against Kedrick and Beth, two strangers, but they still shrunk their bodies away.
After locking up Beth’s most hostile enemy, the deposed Count, two years ago, she had not seen such a place. It felt quite refreshing.
A street away, cheerful merchants were checking their wares, making deals, and selling them. Just by passing a building, they had arrived at such a destitute place. Beth clicked her tongue while she looked around.
The walls of the buildings were crumbling, the roofs on top were in need of serious repair, as both sunlight and rain would leak through. Mold had invaded several buildings. Not only that, the squeaks of rats and the buzzes of insects could be heard. She could see countless buildings experiencing the same issues.
Some people argued over a piece of garbage. The scene was chilling to the bone.
With her usual poker face, Beth observed the affairs of that wretched street. She thought of how it was quite like the poverty described in novels.
Someone who worked to the bone in her previous life, made a disinterested comment,
“It is calmer than I expected.”
“Because it’s impossible to make a world where everyone is happy in a short period of time.”
Beth had a clear vision of what she could and could not do. If she wanted to do something but couldn’t, then she would move on and won’t look back until she was capable of doing it. If she didn’t do this, then the situation would only make her more upset and she knew it, too.
Still, witnessing the poverty with her own eyes made her feel uneasy. The thin string wound around her heart was being pulled. She felt as if the world was patting her back, pushing her to feel pity for such a scene. However, she did not want to be someone who self-righteously pitied others.
“…..?”
Someone grabbed Beth’s dress.
It was a very young child. It seemed like the same child who was kicked out by the merchant a while ago. With a snivel he looked up at Beth.
“Can you give just one silver?”
With one silver he would be able to buy a lot of bread.
Beth thought while looking down at the child. Once she had also worked for the ridiculous price of a one silver wage, food and accommodation included. Before that, she would scurry through the land with a hoe in hand foraging for herbs in the chilly winter despite her chattering teeth. Those herbs were only worth ten copper pieces. (In the Prologue/Chapter 1 this was mentioned.)
Thinking about her emaciated self, Beth replied,
“Can’t.”
“…..”
The child looked like he was going to cry.. Still, Beth made up her mind.
Maintaining her poker face, she carefully peeled off the hand clinging to her dress. Kedrick silently watched on. Occasionally, he would interject Beth, but at this time, he didn’t say a word.
When the small boy saw the large muscular man, Kedrick, next to Beth, he shuddered and scampered away.
Only then, did Kedrick question Beth.
“Couldn’t you have given him a silver?”
“Then what? What change would that make?”
“At least he would be able to buy bread for his whole family for the day. Even if it may not be enough to fill them.”
“They won’t be able to buy bread for tomorrow.”
“But they won’t starve today.”
“Then they will starve tomorrow.”
Beth stared at the direction the child went.
“Also, when they look back at today, it would be more miserable. Because they already tasted a drop of happiness.”
“You plan for the distant future.”
“Is tomorrow far?”
“Yes.”
As if deep in thought, Kedrick stayed silent for a moment before he opened his heavy lips.
“For a person who wants to live for one more day, tomorrow is very far.”
“…..”
Beth didn’t respond.
She knew. She was being callous. But Beth had considered something else.
What would happen after she benevolently gave the scrawny boy a piece of silver? There were several people in the alley, watching her. Observing whether she would take out her coin purse. The outcome would end in a fight, hurting many people in the proces.
So, Beth did not play saint today.
Kedrick didn’t explain further. There was no need to. Neither did Beth ask for more. Typically, his behavior would irritate her, but today she was pleased with him.
They continued deeper into the slums. Except, they stopped conversing. The further they went, the stronger the stench became. Beth was able to behold the most impoverished place in the Gordon territory.
There was a saying that to measure the prosperity of a country, visit the slums. Even though Beth worked non-stop for two years, the progress was only to this level. It was not like Beth didn’t provide aid to the needy, but it only helped this much. There were still many starving people without shelter from the rain or sun.
Beth stared down. Her shoes had become remarkably dirty due to the grimy streets.
“There is nothing new to see that wasn’t already within my expectations.”
“There shouldn’t be.”
“Then let’s go back.”
As if she didn’t want to see anymore, she resolutely turned around and walked out of the slums. All the while, Kedrick remained silent.
Like that, the two didn’t talk again that day.
On the 6th day, Beth didn’t leave her room. Nor did Kedrick look for her.
She would not even look at the door, except when someone would remind her to eat. She continued reading, occasionally scribbling a few words or glance out the window.
When was the last time she spent the day this quietly? The answer – never. Despite Beth having a master and servant relationship with Claire, Claire would still search for her to talk at least once a day. And when Kedrick was at the estate, he would visit her frequently. So, there was no way she could spend a day quietly.
Yet, neither Kedrick nor Claire had called on her today.
Meanwhile, Beth’s contact with Julia and Catherine had dwindled as their responsibilities were different from hers. So, there were less opportunities for them to meet.
She suddenly felt that her circle of friends were few. But there was no need to have regrets about it. It was just a thought that crossed her mind.
This sort of silence suddenly felt unfamiliar to her. Such a feeling was so strange.
The hand that fiddled with the book’s page, stopped. The passage of time seems so slow, she thought.
If it began to snow, I could probably see each snowflake in detail as they fell to the ground.
In this mansion – in this room – how many possessions did Beth truly own? She was oblivious to this fact; she was not someone who would stock up possessions for herself. Unless it was necessary for work. Yet, the times she spent money on herself were rare. So, although she has been Claire’s stand-in for two years, everything she owned could only fill a single bag of luggage.
Reading the covers of her new books, Beth contemplated what these useless feelings were. She was overwhelmed with these emotions.
I want to get back to work as soon as possible.
If she knew that taking vacation meant spending time all alone, she would have never accepted it. In her whole life she had never learned how to play.
Whether it was her current life or the previous life, she had never spent time for herself. That was for people who were free to live leisurely, or so she thought.
Beth was only good at working.
Absorbed in the sense of stillness, she looked outside. A blue light emerged in the dark sky. Beth neatly organized the stack of papers she scribbled on and placed it on of top the bed.
For the past 6 days, she barely met Claire. Thinking of Claire, who never came looking for her these past days, a part of Beth’s heart was saddened.
Perhaps I’m not needed?
Perhaps her presence was never missed. When Beth thought of how Claire may no longer need her, she felt a pang of distress pierce her heart alone in the silence.
With that thought in mind, Beth shut her eyes in an attempt to visit dreamland.
* * *
“……sh.”
Someone is calling me.
“……Beth.”
“…?”
It was Kedrick.
When did the sun rise?
She could hear the birds chirping. No, it seems like it has been long since the sun rose.
Kedrick was handsome as usual. Was he the same person who remained silent the last time they were together? The same person who disappeared for a whole day yesterday? His smile appeared very natural to Beth.
“Quickly, get dressed to leave.”
“…Leave?”
To where? When Beth asked, he answered that the young lady was urgently looking for her.
As soon as Claire was mentioned, she dragged her drowsy body and changed into clean clothes. Thinking about seeing Claire, she almost wore her maid uniform. Thankfully, she came to her senses and wore a casual dress.
Outside, the hall was strangely quiet.
It was so quiet that Beth and Kedrick’s steps sounded out. But as they approached the destination Kedrick was leading her to, the sound of faint murmurings of other people could be heard.
The place they arrived at was a restaurant. Before the door, Kedrick winked at her and said.
“Try not to cry.”
The moment he opened the door she felt blinded.
White rays of sunshine radiated from the windows while a sweet fragrance filled the air.
It was the scent of flowers.
If there was something more pleasant than warm sunshine and a sweet scent, it would be the faces of everyone there. They all looked at her and in unison shouted.
“Happy Birthday, Beth!”
“Birthday…?”
Beth didn’t know it was her birthday. As there was no family to remind nor record her birthday, she didn’t feel it was necessary to find out. When Claire asked about this in passing, she answered that she doesn’t remember.
“Beth.”
“…Young lady.”
Claire stood in front of everyone with a shy face. With an awkward smile she handed over a bouquet of Lisianthus with small lupines weaved in. It was securely tied with a ribbon.
“These are flowers I picked myself…. I don’t know if they go well together.,. They just reminded me of Beth when I saw them.”
Beth accepted the bouquet and looked around with a blank face.
“I–”
“–From now on, let today’s date be your birthday.”
Claire interrupted when she realized Beth tried to say she didn’t have a birthday.
Was it necessary to have a birthday? Since Claire had already spoken, Beth didn’t refuse. Claire ushered her in and said,
“I wanted to give you a day especially for you.”
After Claire became the head of the mansion, during her second birthday she celebrated, Beth had prepared it magnificently. So, Claire wanted to repay Beth with at least this much.
Claire had received so much as Beth had done so much for her. Yet, all she could do in return was just this. Claire was disappointed.
Claire wanted to create a day, a special day only for Beth,
“…..”
Beth felt indescribable at that moment.
She didn’t feel bad nor did she feel especially good. It was a strange feeling.
After Beth blew out the candles, everyone around laughed and started to share food. Claire was also amongst them, eating cake. She didn’t look anything like a master of an estate, instead she looked very lovely and cute.
Beth, the star of the party, acted as if she was a stranger. At some point, Kedrick stood beside Beth.
“Didn’t I say not cry?”
“But I didn’t cry.”
“You look like you’re ready to.”
“…Is that so?”
She pulled the bouquet, which she held gingerly in fear of crushing it, close to her chest into an embrace.
The rustling sound tickled her ears.
Whenever Claire smiled brightly, when Kedrick would occasionally crack a joke, or even when things were taken care of so nicely, she felt a particular way. Quite different from when she found useful information.
“Beth! Since you are the leading lady, say something.”
The Julia she hadn’t seen for so long, pulled her into the middle of the crowd with a bright smile.
Everyone looked at Beth with a happy face. As if she felt it difficult to look at everyone’s face, Beth looked down at the flowers and opened her mouth.
“Really…”
This was truly a beautiful day.
* * *
Rustle,
(I think it’s the sound by bouquet)
Carefully, Beth placed the bouquet on the desk.
There in the office was Daniel, Kedrick, and Beth. She looked at the pocket watch. The moment the needle struck midnight, with a calm expression she said,
“Since a week has passed, how about taking care of business.”
A pile of papers was stacked neatly in one corner of the table.
“I wrote down what had happened this week as a ‘hobby’, but there’s something suspicious.”
Looking at the pile of papers, Kedrick chimed in while smiling naturally.
“Ah, I also found something questionable and brought it for you. Maybe it can be of some help.”
He took out a list of distribution dealings and transactions over the past year.
As expected.
Beth could finally confirm that Kedrick knew what she was doing. She frowned but moved on at once.
“Recently, some people seem to buy spices in bulk to evade paying tax. We need to investigate it closely.”
“I got it.”
Daniel bowed his head in response, and went to get all the ledgers relating to the county’s management.
Beth took out a thick book. Within it, were summaries of the restaurants Beth visited along with their prices of each dish. In addition, were the related laws of the Gordon territory.
Looking at the ledgers brought by Daniel and the list put forth by Kedrick, she checked them one by one and compared them with one another.
Those tax evaders, I will make them pay back everything.
The fine would be several times more than the amount of money they saved from tax evasion. She planned to dispatch soldiers to prevent the tax cheats from escaping.
‘Also…’
The money earned from the taxes was going to go into building a small school. A full-fledged school was not possible. Though, it may not be a large school, the impact would be.
Beth instinctively felt those dodging taxes were not just one or two. Currently, the plan was to allow children from the slums to study. Once the school became more established, it would be opened up to commoners. She was not sure how long it would take, but she was ready to do her best.
A coin of silver could feed them for a day, but accumulated knowledge could feed them for a lifetime.
Beth would not give the young children just “today”. Rather she wanted to give them many “tomorrows”, a future full of possibilities.
A new week begins now.
