Gentleness (Part 2)
Taking note of Xiao Jue’s crumbling resolve, Lin Shuanghe immediately added oil and vinegar1. “Think. She’s just a sixteen-year-old girl, so it hasn’t been easy for her to get to where she is now at the Liangzhou Guard. Now that she’s suffering a blow from Chu Zilan, she’s truly too pitiful. Just think of it as doing something charitable—go to the mountain and bring her back. The more grateful she is towards you, the more genuine her loyalty will be.”
Seeing how Xiao Jue still didn’t move, Lin Shuanghe added one last flame. “When Madam Xiao was still alive, she was the most merciful and kindhearted. If she saw Little Miss He, she’d definitely help her.”
“Shut up.” That was the last straw for Xiao Jue. He grabbed the large cloak beside him and walked out the door. “I’ll go.”
Watching his figure gradually disappear, Lin Shuanghe felt extremely satisfied. “Now that’s a true man.”
…..
At the foot of Baiyue Mountain was a boulder. It was smooth and extensive, so it appeared more like a stone platform. If one was to follow the boulder down to its end, the sound of water currents could be heard.
Look down and one would see a majestic river by their feet; look up and one would see, from a thousand miles away, a bright moon shining down on the great mountain and streams.
He Yan sat on the edge of the boulder. The water gurgled as it slammed against the distant reef, sounding deep and ancient as if it was passing over from a distant space and time. Its resonance echoed across the vast land.
She and Chu Zhao agreed to meet at xu2, yet it was long past then, and there was nary a shadow of him. She found the pavilion Chu Zhao mentioned, but no food or drinks were set up—it was unclear what the situation was.
Perhaps she should go down and find Chu Zhao, but the moment she walked over and sat down, she found herself not wanting to get up again.
Snow covered the forest around her, a boundless white engulfed the mountaintop, and the river reflected the dazzling moonlight. It was alleviating and carefree.
What a beautiful moon—what beautiful snow. A wave of fatigue washed over He Yan, so she sat hugging her knees and watched the river’s end.
She preferred night over day, moon over sun. During the years she spent as He Rufei, her mask never left her. However, it was stuffy and heavy; as a mischievous youth, she’d secretly take it off in the dead of night for an incense stick of time3.
Nobody saw the true face under the mask except for the moon outside her window.
She stretched out her hand as if trying to catch the moon hanging distantly over the mountain and river. The moonlight landed gently on her hand like a promise that it’d stay with her forever.
“What are you doing?” sounded a voice from behind her.
He Yan looked back and saw a young man wearing a cloak with a fox fur-lined collar walk out from the darkness. He was extremely tall and, even with a cold expression, handsome.
It was Xiao Jue.
He Yan was taken aback. She subconsciously looked behind him. Noticing that, Xiao Jue sneered, “Chu Zilan is not coming.”
“Why?” He Yan asked.
Xiao Jue glanced at her. “People have arrived from the capital with a matter needing his presence, hence he asked me to come and inform you.”
He Yan nodded before looking back at him in surprise. “Chief Commander is willing to pass me a message from Fourth Young Master Chu?”
Xiao Jue and Chu Zhao were as incompatible as fire and water. It was already unbelievable that Chu Zhao would ask Xiao Jue to come and pass a message; even more shocking was that Xiao Jue listened and came to find her.
“For you to care about such little things, it seems you don’t feel very sad,” he said, sitting on the boulder’s other side.
The winter’s cold evening wind blew over. He Yan asked, “Why would I feel sad?” As soon as she asked this, she sneezed with an “achoo.”
Although the Liangzhou Guard’s winter uniform was cotton-padded, it still couldn’t withstand the winter’s evening wind. She sat there weakly, the cold causing her face to turn as pale as cyan jade, making her appear delicately transparent.
Xiao Jue was silent for a moment before he stood up.
He Yan was just about to raise her head before it was covered by a cloak, filling her vision with darkness; by the time her head made its way out, Xiao Jue was already sitting back at his original spot.
The fur cloak was warm and immediately blocked out the wind and snow. He Yan was stunned for a long while before she said, “Thank you.”
Xiao Jue turned his head and glanced at her.
With her hair tied up and her narrow shoulders covered by his black fur cloak, the young girl appeared extremely frail. Usually, when she was loud and chatty, her ruckus would only give way to headaches; however, when she was quiet, she was like a completely different person.
It was discomfiting.
Xiao Jue looked at her with narrow eyes. After a moment, his lips curled. “Your bitter expression is extremely ugly.” He paused before asking, “Are you unwilling to let go of Chu Zilan?”
“What?” He Yan was puzzled.
“I’ve never seen you so mournful even when death was almost upon you,” he lazily continued. “It seems you like him a lot.”
He Yan couldn’t quite understand his words.
“You’re this desperate and he hasn’t even left yet. What will you do once he leaves tomorrow?” Xiao Jue looked towards the distant river.
“Tomorrow?” He Yan was shocked. “This quickly?”
She recalled Chu Zhao telling her he’d be leaving within these few days, not tomorrow.
Xiao Jue glanced at her with a shadow of a smile. “Anxious?”
“No,” He Yan responded, “I’m just a bit surprised . . .” As if remembering something, she sadly said, “That’s right, he has to attend Minister Xu’s . . . Minister Xu’s wedding banquet. It’s only natural he’ll leave sooner.”
He Yan asked Xiao Jue, “Does Chief Commander know of the Xu Family’s Young Master?”
Xiao Jue said, “I’ve heard of him.”
“Xu Zhi Heng is getting married. The reason why Fourth Young Master Chu is hurrying back is to attend his wedding banquet,” He Yan said hoarsely.
“It’s Xu Zhi Heng getting married, not Chu Zilan,” Xiao Jue frowned. “You want to join the Nine Banners Battalion in such a sorry state?”
He Yan forced a smile and was about to say something before Xiao Jue waved his sleeve and threw something onto her lap.
He Yan looked down—it was a tanghulu4 skewer. It’d been left out for some time, causing it to become as cold as ice. Against the white snow, the bright red appeared exceptionally vivid.
“Where . . . did this come from?”
“It’s one of Song Taotao’s,” Xiao Jue answered. “I happened to take one.”
He didn’t know how to coax young girls, so before he left, he asked Lin Shuanghe, who replied, “If you were someone else, there’d be all kinds of twists and turns to properly coax a heartbroken young lady—you’d have to take her to watch lanterns, flowers, and stars, and buy her jade, pearl, and gold hairpins. However, you’re different. All you have to do is sit there and use your face.”
Xiao Jue was left speechless. In the end, when he passed Shen Muxue’s room and saw the tanghulu skewers Song Taotao had someone buy propped on the window sill, he took one.
The last time he watched her eat something like this, she looked very happy.
He Yan picked up the tanghulu, removed the rice paper, and licked it. The tanghulu was cold and, from the tip of her tongue, spread a subtle sweetness within her mouth—it was so sweet that her heart turned sour.
Suddenly, she recalled the words she exchanged with Chu Zhao.
She had asked him, “What is the new Mrs. Xu called?”
Chu Zhao had replied, “Her name is He Xinying. She is the He Family’s Second Young Lady from the second branch. She’s the former Mrs. Xu’s paternal cousin. I met her once—she has an innocent and gentle temperament. As such, she’s quite a good match for Minister Xu.”
“He Xinying . . .” He Yan mumbled. “Do you know the former Mrs. Xu’s name?”
Chu Zhao was stumped. He hesitated for a moment before shaking his head. “The former Mrs. Xu led a secluded life and she previously didn’t reside in Shuojing, hence, I’ve never met her before, nor do I know her name.”
Not even her name remained.
The world remembered General Fei Hong. They remembered He Rufei, Xu Zhi Heng, and even Xu Zhi Heng’s new wife, but nobody remembered He Yan.
After so long, He Yan thought her heart wouldn’t ache anymore, even more so since she knew Xu Zhi Heng’s true face now. But from the moment she heard he was going to marry another wife, a strange pain still plagued her. It was as if the perseverance and trust she held many years ago collapsed in one night, leaving not even a lie.
The only things remaining were her foolishness and refusal of acceptance.
She looked up at the moon. The moonlight gently brimmed over the barren mountain and great river; over the snowy forest; over her desolate and lonely years; over the eyes under her mask.
The moon knew her secret, but the moon couldn’t speak.
“Do you know,” she began with a low voice, “the name of Xu Zhi Heng’s new wife?”
Xiao Jue lazily replied, “How would I know?”
He Yan laughed at herself before asking, “Then do you know the name of the former Mrs. Xu?”
The river’s currents surged violently against the reef—as if the years long past were storming over with a rumble.
He indifferently glanced at He Yan. Under the moonlight, his countenance was unbelievably handsome; from his eyes—which were like autumn water—emerged a hint of mockery. He lightly responded, “Why? Just because your names are the same, you want to become Mrs. Xu?”
He Yan was taken aback.
“You know . . . you know that she’s called . . .?” Her heart beat wildly in her chest.
“He Yan.”
Spray that’d been shattered into millions of delicate droplets landed on the reef before sinking back into the river—it was impossible to tell where each tide was coming from.
But . . .
The name ‘He Yan’ was remembered.
He Yan raised her head abruptly and looked at him.
“Did you know . . . no, have you seen Mrs. Xu?”
It was impossible. She and Xiao Jue were classmates for barely a year before they went their separate ways. Moreover, when she returned to Shuojing, she went from being He Rufei to Young Lady He and was swiftly betrothed; she rarely stepped out, much less encountered other men. Once she married into the Xu Family, it wasn’t long before she became blind—she would stay in the residence all day long and was almost completely isolated from the outside world.
How could Xiao Jue have seen her?
Unless . . .
“I have.”
The young man sat languidly. He was breathtakingly beautiful. Not even the moon was as bright as the glimmer in his eyes.
For a moment, his voice overlapped with a particular voice from that night.
It was on a night similar to this; even the mountain scenery was alike. The rain had pattered ceaselessly, and her world was dark and gloomy, only a hair’s breadth away from hopelessness.
Xiao Jue said, “She owes me a piece of candy.”