Unbridled 28

Throughout all those years, Lin Wuyu had never harbored any hatred toward Lin Zhan. In their limited time together, Lin Zhan had been the sole source of solace and peace within the family.

Yet, in that moment, he found himself despising him.

He loathed the very reason for his existence in this world.

He detested Lin Zhan's resolute departure that had solidified the promise of never returning, even though back then, Lin Zhan had just been a boy.

The surge of hatred in that instant needed no reason, defied logic.

It was simply his sense of injustice, stronger even than his parents'.

Lin Wuyu didn't want to hold the photo, nor did he wish to look at the person in it.

He recalled so much—words spoken, books read, experiences lived—yet Lin Zhan's face remained blurred.

He couldn't remember what Lin Zhan looked like; it had slipped from his memory.

It had been too long, so long that it felt like it had never existed.

Mom cried inconsolably, her sobs reverberating loudly.

Lin Wuyu could discern the longing and reluctance in her cries, feel her years of anguish, and sense her fear of never unveiling the truth.

On the way back, he researched some information. Mom's illness likely stemmed from her years of suppressed emotions. In his recollection, she had been stricter and more dominant than Dad; the only tenderness she exhibited was towards Lin Zhan. After Lin Zhan disappeared, Lin Wuyu hardly ever witnessed her smile.

Nor did he see her shed tears.

This sudden eruption of emotion from Mom instinctively frightened him, making him want to flee.

Yet, Mom clasped his hand firmly, and he had never realized how strong her grip could be.

He glanced at his tightly clenched hand.

Mom persisted in trying to press the photo into his hand.

Eventually, he had to yield.

Then, Mom loosened her grip.

The photo lay in his hand, face down, one corner wedged between his fingers.

"The doctor wants me to be hospitalized," Mom said softly, her voice trembling, "It's infiltrative, they discovered it a bit late… Your dad won't be able to leave…"

Lin Wuyu remained silent.

He knew this wasn't Mom's entire reason, perhaps not even the true reason.

For Lin Zhan, she was willing to sacrifice anything.

But she didn't dare to go.

For years, there had been no news; all leads they'd considered led to disappointment.

Lin Zhan's parents couldn't confront this.

Fear wasn't the only emotion.

But it was indeed fear.

They were enveloped in the fear of the unknown.

Lin Wuyu said nothing more. By the time he left his mom's bedside, he had buried all his emotions.

"Where did the photo come from?" he asked his dad in the living room, closing the bedroom door.

"Do you still remember Aunt Yu, your mom's college friend? She used to take your brother out to play when you were young," his dad said.

"Don't remember," Lin Wuyu replied.

"She saw it, but when she went after them, the person had disappeared," Dad said, "She managed to snap this photo, very blurry, but… it resembles him a lot."

"If this person truly is Lin Zhan," Lin Wuyu gazed at Dad, "Have you ever considered why he disappeared when she pursued them?"

His dad met his gaze.

"He doesn't want to be found," Lin Wuyu murmured, "He doesn't want to return."

"But your mom needs to see him," Dad said, "It's necessary…"

"If she can't meet him," Lin Wuyu inquired, "will it be my fault once again in the end?"

Dad remained silent for a while, then sighed heavily, sinking into the sofa.

Lin Wuyu seldom felt his thoughts scattered. Even amid the most chaotic and stressful days of the college entrance exams, his mind stayed organized and accessible whenever required.

But today was different; he felt stifled even as he left home.

When he snapped out of it, he was already pedaling a shared bike, slowly making his way towards the school.

…When did he scan the QR code? [*T/N:rental bike]

He couldn't recall.

It might have been a bike with a faulty lock.

Or perhaps, he forgot to lock it.

As he reached the school gate to secure the bike, he confirmed that he had indeed scanned the code himself.

Turning around to enter the school gate, he spotted a familiar figure.

Assistant Ding was striding along the wall to the right of the school gate, moving swiftly as if in a hurry.

He felt puzzled; he had just dropped Assistant Ding off at home, and yet here he was, barely two hours later, at the school gate?

He paused, contemplating whether to call out to him or not. But he hesitated, unsure if he should intervene.

Their friendship seemed strong; they enjoyed chatting, having meals, even bantering. But if Ding Ji was here to find him now, aside from feeling touched…

He would also sense that Ding Ji's concern surpassed the bounds of their friendship, which though good, hadn't been for long.

If a similar situation occurred to Ding Ji, he would message, call, and rush over if Ding Ji needed help.

But he wouldn't simply appear at Ding Ji's doorstep.

Yet… Lin Wuyu took out his phone, toying with it uncertainly.

Perhaps due to his disoriented state of mind, he couldn't trust his own judgment at that moment.

Ding Ji interacted differently with everyone. Understanding Ding Ji felt like deciphering a multifaceted puzzle. Because of its complexity, he couldn't determine how Ding Ji behaved among friends.

After all, Ding Ji's friend Liu Jinpeng was willing to shoulder over twenty thousand yuan [*T/N: 3900 CAD, 2800 USD] in debt for him without informing him…

As Ding Ji's figure neared the end of the road, Lin Wuyu dialed Ding Ji's number.

Ding Ji paused, reaching for his phone. Instead of answering the call right away, he abruptly turned around.

Lin Wuyu waved at him.

Ding Ji picked up the phone. "I thought you weren't returning to the dorm today?"

"How could that be," Lin Wuyu replied.

Ding Ji ended the call and started heading back.

Was I acting on impulse?

Tsk.

Ding Ji pocketed his phone, feeling a tad annoyed.

He hadn't gone to Lin Wuyu's dorm; he simply lingered at the school gate for a moment before deciding to depart.

From childhood until now, he didn't have many friends. His connections with classmates stayed within his own class. People from other classes were barely recognizable, and his pals were those from the small square who could throw punches if needed.

The only exception was Liu Jinpeng, who grew up with him, tolerated his impatience, put up with his pranks, and ignored his occasional aloofness.

He felt a tad annoyed at himself for being so invested in Lin Wuyu's affairs. He'd never been this proactive or passionate, whether out of righteousness or soft-heartedness. If it were someone else, it wouldn't matter, but the fact that Lin Wuyu also liked men made him genuinely afraid Lin Wuyu might misunderstand any extra intentions.

What the hell was this?

"What are you still doing here?" Lin Wuyu asked. "Why did you come back?"

"No one's home," Ding Ji sighed. "Pengpeng's at work, only free on Sundays, so I was bored."

Lin Wuyu glanced at him but remained silent.

"How are things at your place?" Ding Ji inquired.

"My mom wants me to find Lin Zhan," Lin Wuyu said.

"What?" Ding Ji was stunned, his voice unsteady. "Find Lin Zhan?"

"Yeah," Lin Wuyu nodded and strolled towards the school.

"How do you plan to find him? Sniff him out?" Ding Ji was puzzled and then startled. "Is her illness genuine or a hoax?"

"It's real," Lin Wuyu affirmed. "She has to be hospitalized tomorrow."

Ding Ji felt relieved for some reason, maybe because at least his parents didn't fabricate an illness to draw Lin Wuyu back like a bloodhound.

"Why did she suddenly ask you to find Lin Zhan? She hasn't mentioned it in so many years," Ding Ji frowned. "Is it because of her illness?"

"Probably. My mom fears she won't see him before she dies," Lin Wuyu said.

"The illness isn't that severe, not enough to fulfill a lifelong wish," Ding Ji remarked. "Do you have any leads? How are you supposed to find him?"

"My mom's friend…," Lin Wuyu struggled to say, "…took a photo…"

"Darn!" Ding Ji was shocked. "Where was it taken? Where's the photo? Can you verify if it's him?"

"I… haven't seen it yet," Lin Wuyu admitted.

Ding Ji clamped his mouth shut.

Lin Wuyu probably didn't want or dare to find him.

Both of them entered the school gates silently, walking through the pathways.

As it wasn't summer vacation yet, the freshmen and sophomores were still in class. The bustling sounds from the classrooms during self-study, the distant shouts and laughter from the playground, and the basketballs bouncing echoed around them.

Lin Wuyu led Ding Ji to the dormitory. Perhaps the dorm supervisor already knew his situation, so Ding Ji followed inside without much questioning, merely commenting, "Lin's back, huh?"

"Yeah," Lin Wuyu replied with a smile.

This was the second time Ding Ji visited Lin Wuyu's dorm. It was starkly different from the last time, filled with partings.

"Want some cola?" Lin Wuyu offered.

"I only drink it cold," Ding Ji quipped. "Not fun if it's not cold."

"The cold ones will take a while," Lin Wuyu mentioned.

"No need, no need," Ding Ji hurriedly declined, "Don't bother, I'm not thirsty, don't need to drink anything."

Lin Wuyu didn't say a word, opened the cabinet, and fetched two cans of cola and a cardboard box.

After placing the cola into a small basin, he emptied the contents of the cardboard box onto the table. They looked like ice bags.

"What's this for?" Ding Ji asked.

"Making you cold cola," Lin Wuyu said, grabbing an ice bag and slamming it onto the table.

"Using telekinesis?" Ding Ji joked.

Lin Wuyu tossed the ice bag in his hand to Ding Ji, who caught it, surprised to find it was actually frozen. "Is this a frozen version of 'Warm Baby'?" [*T/N: a popular instant hot-pack for icy days, normally they fit in your pocket so you can keep your hands warm]

"Sort of, it's ice packs and gel, for icing," Lin Wuyu explained. "It'll be quicker once we cut open the frozen cola."

Ding Ji found it intriguing. They stood by the table, took the ice packs, slammed them, then squeezed them. After the ice packs started freezing, they cut a slit and poured the gel into the small basin.

It was like playing a game.

After burying the two cans of cola in the gel, they both examined the basin.

"This temperature," Ding Ji poked in with his finger to test, "pretty icy, huh? How long can it hold?"

"How long what can hold?" Lin Wuyu was confused. "Your finger?"

"I mean, how long can this stuff stay frozen?" Ding Ji clarified, sensing that Lin Wuyu might be in a bad mood or perhaps he shouldn't have asked that question himself as he had to drive.

"Half an hour," Lin Wuyu replied. "That's why I said you'll have to wait for the cold ones."

"How much for one ice bag?" Ding Ji inquired.

"Probably two or three yuan?" Lin Wuyu estimated.

"Nice," Ding Ji praised. "No wonder you're a professional drone pilot they specially hire; you have the money to put into these ice bags; you could buy two crates of cola with that."

Lin Wuyu suddenly remembered something and pulled out his phone. "I forgot to give you the service fee."

"No rush," Ding Ji felt a bit embarrassed. "I didn't do much, just played along."

Lin Wuyu tapped a few times on his phone, and then Ding Ji's phone rang.

"Thanks," Ding Ji retrieved his phone and opened the message.

He found that Lin Wuyu had sent him a red envelope.

…Isn't the daily wage for this assistant a bit too low? Nearly two hours of driving, then forty minutes climbing a mountain, and at the mountain top…

Never mind, he did say it was just for fun. Ding Ji clicked on the red envelope: "Actually, you could've just deducted it from the money I borrowed from you…"

1 yuan?

He suddenly looked up at Lin Wuyu.

Lin Wuyu was already leaning on the table, laughing silently, seeming like he had been laughing since he took out his phone.

"I really admire you, damn it," Ding Ji glared at him.

"If you don't want it, just give it back to me," Lin Wuyu said amidst laughter.

"I do," Ding Ji put his phone back in his pocket. "Why wouldn't I?"

Lin Wuyu laughed for a while longer before calming down, then let out a soft sigh without saying anything, staring at the pile of gel and cola in the basin.

After a while, Ding Ji reached out his hand to him. "Let me see."

"What?" Lin Wuyu still kept his eyes on the basin.

"Lin Zhan's photo," Ding Ji requested. "Let me see."

After hesitating for a moment, Lin Wuyu took out a photo from his pocket and placed it in Ding Ji's hand.

"Self-printed?" Ding Ji glanced at it.

"Probably," Lin Wuyu confirmed.

Ding Ji fell silent, taking a step aside and sitting on the edge of the bed.

The photo was blurry, seemingly taken hastily while they were on the move.

The backdrop revealed a subway entrance. Ding Ji recognized the station name—it should be close to H University. He glanced at Lin Wuyu; perhaps this was the reason Lin Wuyu's parents wanted him to find Lin Zhan—they lived in the same city.

The subway entrance was bustling with people, making it hard to discern who the photo was of at first glance. After staring for a while, Ding Ji finally recognized a young man descending the stairs.

He was tall and slim, just a blurry profile.

At first glance, Ding Ji couldn't make any connections. However, if he assumed it was Lin Zhan, he could see a resemblance, especially the nose, which resembled Lin Wuyu's.

"Quite blurry. Only someone very familiar could make it out," Ding Ji offered an honest analysis. "Honestly, if this were my brother, I might just glance over it and think it looked like me."

Lin Wuyu glanced at him.

"Do you want to see it?" Ding Ji lightly tapped the photo. "Maybe your mom asked you to find him because they were afraid to."

"I might not have dared either," Lin Wuyu walked over to him and took the photo.

Ding Ji looked at his face.

Lin Wuyu had probably been practicing the art of concealing emotions for over a decade. He had been too scared to look at the photo before, but now, while gazing at it, there wasn't a single expression on his face. Even his hands didn't tremble, as if he were examining an eternal top-ranking report card.

"Is that so?" Ding Ji broke the silence. He feared Lin Wuyu might suddenly fall asleep as he had during their last review session if he didn't speak soon.

It took Lin Wuyu two seconds to lift his eyes.

Before he could say anything, a tear suddenly slid from the corner of his left eye to the tip of his chin.

Ding Ji hadn't even seen the tears well up in his eyes, let alone turn red around his eye sockets. This tear appeared as if by chance, like a raindrop landing on Lin Wuyu's face.

"Seems like it," Lin Wuyu said, his voice giving no hint of him crying.

Ding Ji felt awkward. Lin Wuyu had once mentioned not knowing how to comfort someone crying. Truth be told, despite being emotionally charged himself and often crying, Ding Ji didn't know how to handle someone else's tears, especially such… casual ones.

He wanted to offer Lin Wuyu a tissue, but after quickly patting his two pockets, he realized he didn't have any. He hurriedly looked left and right, then glanced at the table, finding nothing that could serve as a substitute for a tissue.

In the end, he had no choice but to stand up, grab Lin Wuyu's shirt hem, and rubbed his face twice.

"Is it dirty?" Lin Wuyu said, "Clothes I've been wearing on the mountain all day."

"Well, whose fault is it for not changing clothes?" Ding Ji sighed, pulling up his own shirt hem. "Alright, I'll change."

"Thanks," Lin Wuyu pressed his hand.

Ding Ji didn't say anything.

Lin Wuyu pulled his clothes away from Ding Ji's hand and used his clothes to dab at his eyes.

Ding Ji felt it was quite absurd, "Is your brain wired differently?"

"You pressed too hard," Lin Wuyu said, "It hurt my face."

"You have such thick skin…" Ding Ji clicked his tongue. "Are you really that soft?"

Lin Wuyu chuckled, "Is the cola a bit chilled now? Want some?"

"Just wait a bit," Ding Ji said, "In case it's not cold enough and we have to put it back…"

"Sure." Lin Wuyu pulled up a chair, sat down, and lowered his head to look at the photo.

"Are you brave enough to look now?" Ding Ji asked.

"Yeah." Lin Wuyu nodded.

"No more tears?" Ding Ji looked at Lin Wuyu. If he hadn't seen it with his own eyes just half a minute ago, he wouldn't believe that this person had shed tears.

"Why did my parents insist I find him?" Lin Wuyu said. "If this is really Lin Zhan, they know he won't meet them."

"But if you go," Ding Ji said, "If you happen to run into him, he might not hide, right?"

"Maybe," Lin Wuyu said.

"Are you going then?" Ding Ji asked.

"I'll go," Lin Wuyu said, "Once I finish submitting my college applications, I'll leave. Sooner or later, it doesn't matter."

"Then…” Ding Ji began and instantly regretted it.

Lin Wuyu's response made Ding Ji regret it even more.

"No need," Lin Wuyu said, "I'll go on my own. You've got to work and pay me back."