Wishing You Eternal Happiness
《 Previous | Table of Contents | Next 》
Translation: marchmallow
TL Checker: StackedSnowflake
Chapter 12
Da Biaoge, please help me.
***
Ci’en Temple was a thousand-year-old Buddhist temple situated outside Anding Gate in the north of the city. It was constructed at the inception of the current dynasty and was renamed Baoguo Ci’en Temple.1 In addition to the Mahavira Hall,2 Dafa Hall, and many other temple buildings common to ordinary temples, it had a Buddhist Texts Hall in the southwest known as the “Rotating Wheel of Scriptures”——a wooden structure of shelves that housed scriptures with an ingenious mechanism that one could manually rotate, stored within which were boundless scrolls and volumes of Buddhist texts. If one had rotated it all the way around, it implied that one had perused the entire collection of Buddhist scriptures stored inside, returning to the starting point, the completion of one full cycle alluding to perfection.3
Because of the existence of this Library of the Rotating Wheel of Scriptures, throughout all dynasties, innumerable inscriptions and calligraphy scrolls of scholars and literati had been left here until they reached the gables of the Ci’en Temple. Moreover, a multitude of monks had ventured from far and wide to this place for religious practice. However, it was said that, for the past several centuries, countless monks had devoted themselves to studying these until the end of their lives, yet no one had ever heard of one who had completed one full cycle of the Rotating Wheel of Scriptures.
It was midday when Jiafu rushed to Ci’en Temple. Very few Buddhist worshipers were present, but the moment she arrived at the foot of the mountain, she saw that the Grand Duke Manor’s carriage had indeed parked there. Knowing that the person she wanted to meet was actually inside the temple at that instant, she entered the monastery’s main gate and strode directly towards the Mahavira Hall to burn incense, worship Buddha, and donate perfumed oil. After which, she trod out and made inquiries to a knowing monk regarding the whereabouts of the Buddhist worshipers from the Grand Duke Manor.
Over twenty years ago, when the first Tianxi empress was inflicted with an epidemic, because the infestation had been truculent then, she was sent to the Ci’en Temple for isolation and convalescence to avoid spreading the disease in the imperial harem. The first empress’ illness lingered for more than a year, but there was no sign of recovery from beginning to end, and her condition instead deteriorated interminably. In the end, she passed away at the back of the temple. In those years, Old Madam Pei had often gone in and out of the monastery’s main gate, so the monks in the temple were very familiar with her.
The traveling monk who knew something had no desire to cater to people, but deeming Jiafu to be a generous person for having performed charitable and pious deeds, he answered, “The Old Grand Duchess has gone to rest in the meditation room, so Benefactress must not approach her.”
……
After Old Madam Pei finished burning joss sticks, she ate the vegetarian meal proffered by the monks. In the end, she was advanced in age, so she was fatigued after having done all these. Pei You’an sent her to the meditation abode for a short repose.
After the death of First Empress Pei, the Tianxi Emperor sealed up this Buddhist hall where she had recuperated and dwelled in and only permitted exclusive access to the first empress’ mother, Old Madam Pei. Over twenty years had passed, and although the regent Prince Shun’an who had successfully ascended to the throne was now unhappy with the Pei family, he would not go so far as to openly defy the former emperor, his eldest brother’s imperial edict. As such, as before, only those from the Grand Duke Manor were granted access to this perfectly secluded and peaceful Buddhist hall. Normally, the main gate would be firmly locked, but if Old Madam wanted to drop by, the temple would be informed ahead, whereupon they would unlock and tidy it up in preparation for her entry.
Pei You’an was aware that his grandmother was reminiscing memories of his aunt who had died young more than twenty years ago. Right this moment, as he observed her standing within the threshold, he ceased his steps and surveyed the vicinity.
They had sent the news of her visit in advance yesterday, and this place had already been swept and tidied up, but in the end, it was the early winter season. Dreary soughs from the yellow leaves of the withering creeping fig filled the courtyard. Fearing that the scenery would evoke memories of the past, he reached out his hand to support her and said, “Grandmother, go inside. The wind is strong.”
When Old Madam Pei entered, Yuzhu and the two maids accompanying her had awaited to serve her. However, they saw Eldest Young Master step forward to personally remove Old Madam’s outer robes, squat down to take her shoes off her feet, and arrange them neatly on the ground.
This somewhat startled the maids. Noticing this, Yuzhu cast a pointed look at both of them and led them to accompany her out.
Old Madam Pei sat at the edge of the bed and lowered her head to look at her grandson.
Pei You’an placed Old Madam’s sock-covered feet within his palms and gently massaged them. A short while later, when they felt slightly warm to the touch, he then helped her lie down slowly, lifted her feet, and tucked them under the quilt while saying, “Grandmother, rest well, all right?”
Old Madam Pei closed her eyes. Pei You’an sat beside her and quietly accompanied her. When she fell asleep, he lightly tugged at the corner of the quilt to tuck her in. He got up and strode towards the window, stood there for a moment, and walked out.
……
”Is the Old Grand Duchess also in the temple?”
Zhen Yaoting instantaneously called to mind that girl that had appeared before him yesterday. Although she was not the most outstanding beauty he had ever laid eyes on, he was also unsure why he already found her pleasing to the eye after just a single glance to the extent that she constantly preoccupied his thoughts. He could not restrain the burst of joy that erupted in his chest and urged Jiafu, “You should go quickly. Tell someone to announce your arrival. It would be impolite not to pay respects now that you happened to encounter them here.”
Jiafu had known that Old Madam was inured to taking afternoon naps, so how could she pay heed to her elder brother’s words? Besides, the person she wanted to meet here was definitely not Old Madam Pei.
She stood there, pondered for a moment, turned to Zhen Yaoting, and said, “I’ll go over and check. Brother, just wait here in front of the hall. Don’t wander around.”
Zhen Yaoting agreed and supplemented with a cheeky grin, “Once you meet her, don’t forget to mention me. Put in a good word for me so I can also go and pay respects to the elderly lady!”
Jiafu nodded listlessly. Taking Tanxiang with her, they passed through the main hall and headed to the southwest.
In this period of time, it was only natural that they could hear neither the morning bell nor the evening drum. Only when passing through several low gables did they perceive some indistinct chanting accompanied by the sound of the wooden fish4 on the opposite side of the wall, intensifying the tranquility of the surroundings.
The pathwalk beneath her feet was paved with white pebbles that had gradually developed to a murky gray color from being constantly trod on as time passed, with moss growing through the crevices. Gingko trees lined up on both sides of the paved pathwalk, and a millennium-old tree stood at the end, its perfectly erect trunk towering over everything. An expanse of its branches spread overhead the temple halls and curled over half the temple roof. After a gust of wind blew, leaves from the gingko tree rustled and fell from the sky, landing obliquely on a portion of the temple roof. A dense layer of fallen leaves had amassed on the ground, as if golden rain had showered the place.
A man was standing straight underneath the caisson5 of the quiet and secluded Hall of the Rotating Wheel of Scriptures.
The caisson had beams on all sides and was painted with imagery of the Heavenly Dragons and Eight Gods, as well as the descent of Tathagata in the Pure Land.6 The Buddha had lowered brows and was glaring with a fierce visage. The noon sun poured through the crown of the gingko tree over the caisson, casting bright rays that interspersed with the shadows. He stood on the liminal space amidst the intertwining gloom and candor that mottled his figure with half of both light and shade. A leaf fell from the caisson above his head, descending in spirals before gradually landing by his feet.
All the while, he had his head lowered as he turned over the pages of scriptures in his hand, fully engrossed in it, his figure frozen.
Jiafu stood outside the threshold and gazed at the back view of the man before her.
She had guessed that he would perhaps come here. This was where her intuition led her. So she came over, wanting to test her luck.
Her hunch was correct. He was indeed in the Hall of the Rotating Wheel of Scriptures.
But now that she had found him, uneasiness came creeping over her once more. Several times did she want to open her mouth to call out to him, only to close it again. Just as she was hesitating, the man seemed to have sensed the oddity behind him. All of a sudden, his head turned sideways, and both his eyes landed on her.
Jiafu’s heart thumped lightly. A smile immediately spread across her face as she called out, “Da Biaoge”, her voice extremely gentle and pleasant to the ear.
Seeing her there, Pei You’an did not seem to be too surprised and remained standing in place.
”Why are you here?” Thus was his query.
Jiafu raised her eyes, her gaze meeting his.
”I dare not hide it. I came here this morning to look for Da Biaoge. I would like to consult Da Biaoge about this concern of mine.”
Her tone of voice was extremely soft, as though she lacked the courage to speak.
Pei You’an’s sight paused on her face. He closed the volume of text, inserted it back to the rack of scriptures, then turned around and walked towards her.
He stopped. One was outside the threshold, while one was inside, the distance between the two around seven or eight steps apart.
”What concern?” He asked.
”Yuzhu came to my residence yesterday. Before leaving, she suddenly passed on a message in private, saying that you, Da Biaoge, especially urged her to instruct me to cease smoking the incense I’m currently using. I understood her meaning. It seemed that the fragrance I was using had harmed others. When I asked again, she couldn’t tell me the reason and only mentioned that these were the words you, Da Biaoge, wanted to pass on to me……”
Jiafu bit her lip.
”Da Biaoge, your instructions naturally cannot be wrong, and I will also follow them. I just truly don’t understand, more so that it’s been branded as something harmful. I’ve been so fretful that I was unable to sleep last night, and I was in no mood to do anything this morning. I remember Yuzhu saying that you, Da Biaoge, will send Old Madam to Ci’en Temple today, so I simply dropped by and took the liberty to look for you here. Da Biaoge, I’ve disturbed you. I……”
Pei You’an waved his hand, balking her from finishing her words.
”Do you know what fragrance you wore on my grandmother’s birthday?” He asked, his sight falling on her face.
”Ambergris.”
Jiafu answered immediately without blinking.
He did not make a sound and instead stared at her with intense scrutiny.
Jiafu was bewildered. “Da Biaoge, why are you looking at me like that?”
”The ambergris you were using, where was it from?”
”From my family’s storehouse.”
”Do you know what borneo camphor is?”
He suddenly asked after a pause.
Jiafu nodded.
”Back when Father was alive, I remember accidentally hearing him mention it once, saying that it was a fragrance from South Tianzhu. It’s similar in nature to ambergris, but not as good as ambergris.”
Jiafu blinked and looked at him. “What’s wrong with it?”
”I can tell you with certainty that the so-called ambergris you’re using is actually borneo camphor. Quan-ge’s illness is due to the borneo camphor you smoked. Borneo camphor is not only a fragrance, but it can also be utilized as a medicinal ingredient in the western regions. However, a small minority of people are intolerant to this fragrance, and if they come in contact with even a small amount, they will develop uncomfortable symptoms. Should they ingest it by mistake, it could even endanger their lives. Quan-ge is exactly like this. This was why he got sick on the two occasions he came into contact with you.”
Jiafu’s heart was roaring in her chest.
All she knew was that Quan-ge would fall ill whenever borneo camphor was smoked and that he would gradually get better after a few days, but she absolutely had no idea that borneo camphor was also a medicinal ingredient that had the capacity to send people to death. This was totally perplexing.
But by now, she had long since run out of options. She must persuade him to believe her and even lead him to assist her, at the very least, not to foil her plan.
She exhibited an expression of apprehension and frantically shook her head. “I really didn’t know! In our storehouse, fragrances are sorted out into categories. I’ve always used ambergris. This time, because I had to go to the capital, I checked the original box of perfume discs before I left and found that it was almost used up, so I asked someone to fetch a new one. I was in a hurry at that time. Perhaps someone in the storehouse made a mistake. I really had no idea!”
Her eyes were suddenly wide open, and she revealed a look of horror. “Could it be that……Da Biaoge, did you think I was intentionally trying to harm Quan-ge’er?”
She gazed at Pei You’an, who seemed rather circumspect. Little by little, glistening teardrops sprang up in her eyes, and her voice gradually developed a sobbing tone riddled with grievances.
”I visited the Grand Duke Manor several times when I was a child, but Quan-ge had not been born then. A few years later, I was in Quanzhou observing mourning for my father. Even if I knew that borneo camphor was no good, how could I have known that Quan-ge is intolerant to it?”
She quickly shifted her head to the side and lifted her hand to wipe the corners of her eyes.
Pei You’an had been examining her with a cold expression as she spoke just then, as if deliberating over the truthfulness of her words. He gradually averted his gaze away from her fervently weeping countenance and simply said, “I surmise that it must have been unintentional. Don’t cry.”
His tone was rather flat. However, it seemed to contain a moiety of trust. He was comforting her.
It was no challenge for Jiafu to cry whenever she willed it. Whenever she thought of her father leaving, and whenever she recalled the last moments of her previous life, her eyes would turn sour.
Her original intent was just to cry for him to see. However, after he comforted her, her emotions went out of control for a moment without her knowing why. An incomparable feeling of grievance rose in her chest, and she wordlessly lowered her head, her tears refusing to cease from falling.
Pei You’an’s typically expressionless face began to exhibit a look of unease. He glanced at her several times, clenched his fists, loosened them, and hesitated for a moment before eventually walking over and stopping in front of the threshold. He slightly lowered his head towards her and softly consoled, “Don’t cry. I believe you. If not, why else would I ask Yuzhu to pass a message on my behalf to remind you?”
”Think about it.”
After speaking, he added another sentence, as if to coax her.
He bent slightly, leaning a little closer. Jiafu seemed to become aware of the temperature his body was emanating. It was reminiscent of the golden warmth of the winter sun sprinkling through the caisson.
She hurriedly faced about, lowered her head, and wiped away the streaks of tears on her face. When her mood stabilized, she turned back and gently replied, “Many thanks, Da Biaoge, for believing me.”
Pei You’an paced back a few steps, his expression restoring its usual calmness. He cast a glance at her tear-stained face, mused and muttered to himself, and said, “I’ve also heard rumors about this matter the past two days, saying that you and Quan-ge have an ill-fated affinity. I fear that it will be detrimental to your imminent betrothal. Since it has nothing to do with you, I can explain the cause of Quan-ge’s disease to help you. If you don’t want people to know that it’s because of the fragrance you’ve been using, I can just leave you out of it. After dispelling my mother’s misgivings, you and my second brother can discuss the marriage without any problems.”
Jiafu slowly shook her head.
Pei You’an was taken aback. “Why? Do you not want to clarify the misunderstanding?”
Jiafu surreptitiously squeezed her palms and reasoned, “Da Biaoge, it is my good fortune that your family is willing to accept a person of such a background into your household. But to tell you honestly, this trip to the capital to discuss marriage wasn’t truly what my heart wanted. My grandmother is the head of my family, and it is difficult for me to defy her, so I was left without a choice but to comply with her arrangements. I originally thought that my marriage would be set like this for the rest of my life, but I never expected that a mishap would arise from a strange combination of circumstances. Because Quan-ge had fallen ill these past two days, Madam Song and Madam are now resentful of me, leading to the marriage talks being put on hold……”
Jiafu paused and raised her eyes, which collided with his own line of sight.
”May I be so bold as to implore you, Da Biaoge, to have mercy and pretend that you know nothing about this?”
Pei You’an slightly frowned. “Is this really what you want? Would you rather bear tarnishing your name than marry into the Grand Duke Manor?”
”Yes.” Jiafu nodded. “The Grand Duke Manor’s status is grand and noble, and I do not possess the capability to climb high. Quan-ge had gotten sick because of the incense I mistakenly smoked, eliciting Madam Song and Madam’s resentment towards me, which seems rather destined and opportune. Da Biaoge, please help me. Perhaps, whether or not I marry is also predestined. I know it is.”
Pei You’an stared at her and suddenly felt in his heart that something was amiss, but he could not quite capture what it was. Suppressing the strange feeling that surged in his chest, he finally nodded. “Since that’s what you want, I naturally will. But——”
His manner of speaking was suddenly stern.
”You had not known then, and it was an inadvertent mistake, so I don’t blame you. Now that you’re aware that borneo camphor is harmful to Quan-ge, as long as Quan-ge is around, I will never allow you to use this incense to harm him again, even if it will lead you to think that the Grand Duke Manor is some dreadful monster.”
Jiafu quietly raised her eyes and saw him staring at herself with slightly wrinkled brows and an uncompromising countenance. Not daring to negate, she cast her eyes down and responded in a lowered voice, “Da Biaoge does not need to say it. I know it myself.”
Pei You’an lifted the hem of his robe, stepped out of the threshold of the hall, and walked past her.
Jiafu remained rooted there for a moment, turned her head, and watched the figure going farther and farther away, gradually vanishing at the end of the ginkgo-lined road.
Translator’s Notes:
It’s been a while since my last update. Apologies for the delay. I’ve been busy with life. I barely have the time to squeeze to translate and edit a chapter.
《 Previous | Table of Contents | Next 》
Footnotes:
1 The temple’s full name is “报国慈恩寺”. Baoguo (报国) means “to dedicate oneself to the service of one’s country”. It seems that the empire was thanking the temple for its services to the empire by giving it such a name.
2 大雄宝殿: A Mahavira Hall, usually simply known as a Main Hall, is the main hall or building in a traditional Chinese Buddhist temple, enshrining representations of Gautama Buddha and various other buddhas and bodhisattvas. It is encountered throughout East Asia.
3 Also an allegory for reincarnation. A life starts, ends, just for it to begin again because of reincarnation. Although that is not what one wants in Buddhism, one wants to get out of the insufferable horrible fate of reincarnation.
Snowy: Though, I suppose, there is no beginning or ending in the scriptures. So anyone can start at random, no part 1 and 2. As long as they turn it after finishing it. So basically there is so much literature that they’re basically still reading it?
4 A wooden fish — also known as a Chinese temple block or wooden bell — is a wooden percussion instrument that originated from East Asia. It is used by monks and lay people in the Mahayana Buddhist tradition. It is often used during rituals usually involving the recitation of sutras, mantras, or other Buddhist texts. (Source)
5 The caisson, also referred to as a caisson ceiling, or spider web ceiling, in East Asian architecture is an architectural feature typically found in the ceiling of temples and palaces, usually at the centre and directly above the main throne, seat, or religious figure. (Source: Caisson (Asian architecture))
6 The Eight Gods are specifically: Heaven, dragon, Yaksha, Ashura, Garuda, Gandharva, Kinnara and Mahoraga. The heaven is on top, the dragon comes next, then the rest. Tathagata is Buddha’s name for himself, having many layers of meaning in Sanskrit: thus gone, having been Brahman, gone to the absolute etc. Pure Land is the paradise where Sakyamuni Buddha, Tathagata Buddha and Vairocana Buddha reside.