Of Mountains and Rivers 20
He Suddenly Discovered That He Didn’t Like Others Questioning Chu Huan, Whether It Be Luger or the Elder.
Maybe even a person bored of living a certain life, but knew they’d soon leave, would develop a masochistic yearning – what’s more, Chu Huan wasn’t bored of the Liyi Clan.
After returning from that side of the river, Chu Huan no longer went to the forest; other than Nanshan, nobody else acknowledged it. His presence in the Liyi Clan suddenly rose.
In the past, Chu Hun truly didn’t like children or small animals. Whenever he'd see little brats, he’d go a roundabout route; whenever he heard them chatter noisily, his head would grow two times bigger.
But one day, whilst he stood by his window, he raised his head and saw several little bat-like things hanging in a row from the tip of a tree. He craned his neck. They seemed to think they were successfully secretly peeking at him, yet Chu Huan miraculously didn’t feel annoyed.
He couldn’t help but remember the days of mischief from his childhood and thought, if little Lu’er gives birth to two children in the future, will there ever be a moment of peace in their home?
Chu Huan raised his hand and beckoned to the inspection scouts on the tree. The group of brats instantly shrunk their stretched, pelican necks like tortoises’ and began to shyly demonstrate ‘you hit me, I kick you’. They mutually shirked responsibility, refusing to be the first to move.
In the end, it was Little Bald-head who took the lead, relying on the friendship from a piece of candy, and jumped from the tree.
Like dumplings being thrown in boiling water, the inspection scouts all plopped to the ground. Chu Huan returned to his house and grabbed a handful of candy, giving one piece to each person before sending the brats away.
Of course, there were some who weren’t that easily sent away. Take Little Bald-Head, for example.
Little Bald-Head was avaricious and insatiable like a snake trying to swallow an elephant; after he finished the candy, he was still thinking about that person. He carefully pondered for a moment before deciding that thick skin was a person’s cornerstone to success, hence he shamelessly stuck to one side and spread both his arms towards Chu Huan.
Chu Huan fearfully took a step back. “What? Don’t tell me you want a hug?”
Little Bald-Head explicitly verified his guess. “Hug!”
As if he was walking through landmines, Chu Huan tremblingly took half a step forward. Keeping a safe distance away from Little Bald-Head, he lowered his voice and used his poor Liyi Clan’s language to orally try and reason with Little Bald-Head. “The distance needed for a fierce and gloomy old man to be friends with a child brimming with enthusiasm is too far, you know? As far as the ground is away from the sun. I’ve only just begun my journey, so you need to give me some time.”
He wasn’t sure if it was because his pronunciation was incorrect, he wasn't clear enough, or if it was some other reason, but Little Bald-Head didn’t move even after hearing this. He still persistently pulled his arm up towards him.
Seeing how reasoning wasn’t going to work, Chu Huan could only act with affection – he handed out another piece of candy. “Eat. After you’ve finished, go play by yourself. Be good.”
How could the dignified boar-like children of the Liyi Clan be so easily bribed? After Little Bald-Head took the candy, not only did he not move away, he even launched his ultimate skill: grabbing the other's thigh.
That small, mystical venomous snake also appeared out of nowhere. Seeing this current scene, it made a prompt decision to also wrap around him – it quickly climbed up Chu Huan’s pants and coiled around his other leg.
Chu Huan: “…”
His legs carried the weight of ‘man and nature’ – indeed, progress could only be made with great difficulty.
Chu Huan had no choice but to move as if he was carrying satchel charges. He carefully held Little Bald-Head as he sent him back to his parents.
To the unlucky child’s behaviour, his mother was extremely ashamed; she lifted Little Bald-Head upside-down and firmly spanked his butt right in front of Chu Huan.
Chu Huan pretended he didn’t see it – playing deaf and mute, he slipped away. The little venomous snake poked his head out from his shoulder and cast a sympathetic glance towards the direction of inordinate crying.
Just like this, at the beginning of his life, Little Bald-Head tasted the world’s hypocritical ‘true love is a scumbag’ as he bawled broken-heartedly.
When Chu Huan walked past a small hill, he happened to encounter a group of herding fellows gathered together to pass the time. Their gossiping and chit-chat were delivered far away by the wind to Chu Huan’s ears.
No matter how simple or kind-hearted a small group was, there’d always be one or two unlucky ones bullied by the rest. It was obvious within the Liyi Clan’s male circle, Horsewhip was Bean in ‘eat, sleep, beat Bean1’.
Several people surrounded Horsewhip as he tried to defend himself with a red face. “When we were at that side of the river, I lived with My King for many days. When it was time to calculate the accounts, I was the one who did it! He even said I was his brother!”
Everyone jeered. “You’re just talking big!”
A young fellow thumped Horsewhip’s chest provocatively. “You say you’re his brother, then do you dare call him over for a drink?”
Horsewhip: “I… I…”
“Ai, I see him now! Go – didn’t you say he was your brother? Then wave him over!”
“Why don’t you continue talking big?!”
“That’s right – you’re talking very big. Wasn’t it just going to that side of the river together? Dashan went too.”
“We go to My King’s lessons every day. You can’t even speak his language properly, yet you call yourself his brother?”
Horsewhip’s face flushed. He angrily flung the others away from him, held his breath, and strode towards Chu Huan.
But with each step taken his courage slowly ebbed away; by the time he reached Chu Huan, there was basically nothing left. He lowered his head and walked closer to Chu Huan as if showing repentance, his dirty hands nervously rubbing against his pants. His expression was filled with despair similar to that of a high-school student failing their foreign language class but having to unavoidably confront the teacher.
Chu Huan was filled with a wicked sense of humor. From his reaction, he found a bit of delight in ‘serving as a model’; rather than a substitute teacher, he found himself feeling more like a dean of students.
Chu Huan: “Horsewhip, is something the matter?”
Horsewhip stammered, his face so red it could stop a car at a crossing. “I… I… Drink… Drink… Drink- Drink alcohol.”
…He looked like he was going to cry.
Chu Huan had intended to make things slightly difficult for Horsewhip, but seeing how embarrassed this young fellow was he decided it’d be too shameful to do so, hence he reached out his hand and patted his shoulder before heartily promising, “Alright, let’s go.”
Horsewhip didn’t expect it to be this easy. He was so shocked he stayed frozen on the spot like a coffin board. It wasn’t just him – over there, all the older, wild children were flabbergasted, appearing as if they’d been hit by an immobilization spell.
Chu Huan touched his nose, wondering how cool, elegant, and magnificent he usually was.
Out of everyone from this group of fellows, none had the nerve to chat with Chu Huan. After several shoves, they collectively threw Horsewhip out. Horsewhip stumbled forward two steps but didn’t manage to stabilize himself, so he fell down on one knee.
Chu Huan sat on the small hill and automatically crossed one leg over the other. He leisurely said, “Child, we’re not celebrating the New Year, so even if you kneel I won’t give you money.”
Under pressure, Horsewhip couldn’t understand anything. He felt he was being pushed out by comrades to be publicly roasted in a fire, scorching his mind to a muddled mess.
Horsewhip scratched his head in embarrassment for a very long time, racking his brain for a solution, before squeezing out a sentence. “My… My King, you… Do you also herd horses back home?”
Chu Huan kept a straight face as he replied, “I don’t herd horses, I hunt.”
There were a few who couldn’t understand, so they quickly whispered among the group to understand what he just said. They discussed it for a while. Once they figured out what he said, they all revealed an expression of disbelief.
A young fellow loudly asked, “Hunting rabbits?”
The young fellow who spoke had a baby face, appearing to be sixteen or seventeen years old. His name was ‘Earth-Shaking Thunder’. Chu Huan simplified it to ‘Two Kicks’.
“It’s ‘hunting rabbits’, not ‘hunting rabbits’2’. In Chinese, some words need to be left out.”
Chu Huan adjusted his glasses, consciously making himself appear more teacher-like, and said, “I mainly hunt wild dogs, in case they bite people. I could be considered specialized in dog-hunting.”
Two Kicks pulled away Horsewhip and whispered in the Liyi Clan’s language, “How do you say I don’t believe?”
So Horsewhip guided him, “Bu-xiang-qin.”
Two Kicks whispered it under his breath a few times. After he felt he’d mastered the word, he loudly and confidently said, “Bu-xiang-qin!”
Chu Huan evilly glanced at him and mischievously said, “Blind date’3? To be concerned about ladies at this age – are you an adult yet?”
The herding fellows quickly formed a temporary language-study group and began another great discussion. An entire five minutes passed before everybody finished adding wood and shot up the flame4, having figured out the meaning behind Chu Huan’s words.
He watched as Two Kicks’ expression turned from confusion to embarrassment. In the end, flustered and exasperated, he jumped up and pulled Horsewhip away for a fight.
When Nanshan and the elders walked over from a distance, they saw that the clans-people had learned to awkwardly imitate Chu Huan's cross-legged sitting position, all of them appearing like an infinite variety of strange flowers. Never mind them learning to sit that way – there was another group standing to the side where one leg touched the ground whereas the other was raised to their knees with difficulty, posing as pheasants standing on one foot.
The Liyi Clan’s men all seemed to be overly spirited. No matter if they were standing or sitting, their backs were all straight like pines and bells5.
In this clan, nobody was like Chu Huan, who was leisurely sitting aside as he casually leaned against something with his legs crossed.
They’d never be able to learn Chu Huan’s ‘men are here, God is there’ kind of laziness and inattentiveness.
The Elder glanced at this scene and asked Nanshan, “Didn’t he not like to mingle with the clans-people in the past?”
The Elder was an old fogey; he wore a bizarre vest-like dress with a large pocket above his chest stuffed with various fruits, causing a large G-cup to come to life.
This person appeared and disappeared more unpredictably than Chu Huan, typically staying in the seclusion of his own home. Most of the time he didn’t meet up with anyone – even when the Gatekeepers came, he didn’t show up in person; in the end, it was Luger who visited him before leaving.
In the few months during Chu Huan's stay at the Liyi Clan, he’d only ever seen this old fogey once.
Nanshan’s attitude towards the Elder had always been respectful and intimate. He followed the Elder’s gaze and the corners of his mouth involuntarily exposed a small smile. “Maybe he felt stuffy.”
The Elder took out a piece of fruit from his chest pocket and, with his emaciated hands, broke it in half. He looked down at the rotten core, the corners of his mouth curling down into an arched bridge. “An insect bit into it.”
Nanshan retracted his gaze from Chu Huan. “Hn?”
The Elder scolded indirectly, “Some things are like this fruit. It looks pretty on the outside, but when you look at the inside, rather than being underdeveloped, it’s actually already bitten by a bug.”
Nanshan frowned. “Are you talking about Chu Huan? He isn’t.”
The Elder threw the rotten fruit aside and, from his pocket, dug out two strawberries that still had their sprouts. He threw one to Nanshan before casually wiping his own and stuffing it in his mouth.
The Elder subtly glanced at the harmonica around Nanshan’s waist and vaguely asked, “On what basis do you say that? Because he gave you some toys? Some books?”
Nanshan was silent.
“Because you made dealings with some outsiders? You don’t even remember your father. That year, he also-”
“I just know,” Nanshan suddenly interrupted the Elder.
He suddenly discovered that he didn’t like others questioning Chu Huan, whether it be Luger or the Elder. Nanshan decided to simply and crudely end the topic, so he said, “I’m angry.”
After he finished speaking, he walked to the water’s edge and washed the strawberry, leaving the Elder aside without consultation. He walked towards Chu Huan, openly winning favor using the Elder’s strawberry right in front of him.
Seeing the Patriarch coming, the herding fellows immediately dispersed. Nanshan handed the fresh and tender wild strawberries to Chu Huan. “Please eat.”
“There’s even this?” Chu Huan’s eyes lit up – he didn’t like to eat fruits, just this kind of red, translucent, green, and fresh plant. “This place is truly a Feng-shui paradise – the winters aren’t cold and the summers aren’t hot, right?”
“That’s because it isn’t winter yet.” Nanshan asked, “Do you like it here?”
Without the slightest hesitation, Chu Huan nodded.
Nanshan continued. “Do you like me?”
Chu Huan: “…”
Although he knew Nanshan would sometimes, because of language and cultural differences, blabber things that are poorly expressed, due to his guilty conscience he still felt inevitably afraid and even almost choked.
Seeing how he didn’t reply, Nanshan felt a little nervous. His waist, which was already as straight as a militant, turned ever straighter.
Chu Huan paused before involuntarily saying something that avoided the main problem. Instead, it turned a corner. “When you’re hiring someone, what kind of person don’t you like?”
Nanshan heard the reluctance in his words and felt lost for a moment.
He was silent for a long while before he depressedly asked, “If you like it here, then why won’t you stay?”
Chu Huan tilted his head to look at him. “If I want to go, would you want to come with me to the outside?”
“Yes,” Nanshan calmly answered, “but I can’t leave.”
Chu Huan pinched a strand of his hair and played with the tip between his fingers. “Then I’m pretty much the same – even there I don’t play a decisive role as you do. I’m just a person of low social status. But if there’s something I need to do I still need to immediately leave, do you understand?”
Nanshan gave him a deep look.
Chu Huan patted his shoulder and stood up. He pointed at the harmonica around his waist and asked, “Don’t hang it on your belt – are you stupid? Your pants are going to weigh down.”
Nanshan held down the hand Chu Huan placed on his shoulder.
“You… If you want to go…” Nanshan’s voice was a little hoarse, “It must be before winter. In winter, we’ll be sealing the mountain. By then, you won’t be able to leave.”
Translator's Notes
- Originated from a classic Chinese joke. A reporter went to Antarctica and interviewed a group of penguins about their daily life. “Eat, sleep, beat Bean,” said the first penguin. So did the second and third… When it came to the last penguin, he answered, “Eat and sleep.” The reporter asked, “Why not beat Bean?” The last penguin answered sadly, "I'm Bean."
- Two Kicks asked ‘打猎兔子?’ (‘da lie tu zi?’) In Chinese, the word ‘hunting’ on its own is ‘打猎’ (‘da lie’), but if you’re adding a noun after it, it’s simplified to just ‘打’. So, Chu Huan corrected him by saying it should be ‘打兔子’, not ‘打猎兔子’.
- in Chinese, ‘don’t believe’ is pronounced ‘bu-xiang-xin’ (‘不相信’). What Horsewhip told Two Kicks to say was ‘Don’t/no blind date’ (‘不相亲’).
- An idiom meaning ‘great things may be done by mass effort’
- A reference to a song called ‘Chinese Martial Arts’ by Song Xiaoming. One of the lyrics goes ‘stand like a tree, sit like a bell’
