Rebirth of a Star General 126.2

Chapter 126.2 – Moon (2) (Part 2)

Fei Nu, who was behind him, wanted to step forward, but Xiao Jue gently shook his head. 

He Yan’s hands were vigilantly clenched into fists. 

She just wanted to hang herself quietly. Things were going great—not only did the cloth snap, but a stranger also had to see such an embarrassing scene. How did God always manage to exceed her expectations? 

Xiao Jue glanced at her indifferently before bending down to pick up his throwing knife. This was what he used to tear through the cloth just then. 

“What are you doing?” He Yan asked.

Xiao Jue said, “Passing by.” 

He wasn’t a kind-hearted man who liked poking his nose into other people’s business. 

For him to do this was already an act of extreme benevolence. Xiao Jue straightened his back and turned around. He began walking away. Fei Nu came close and whispered, “The only other group here today at Yuhua Temple consists of the Han Lin scholar Xu Zhi Heng and his wife. She should be the recently blinded Mrs. Xu, He Yan.” 

He Yan? He raised an eyebrow. He Rufei’s younger sister¹?

Xiao Jue turned back around and looked at her. 

The woman had already groped around and found the now two pieces of cloth. They weren’t long but were still usable. She fumbled with the first piece of cloth around her neck and confirmed it could still be used before tremblingly tying a knot with it.  

She wanted to try hanging herself again. 

Xiao Jue found it a little unbelievable. Then, he found himself wanting to laugh. 

This foolish persistence was quite similar to her cousin’s. 

Many people who sought death usually did it on a whim. They would muster their courage and hang themselves, throw themselves into the river, or jump off a cliff; when the time truly came, however, most of them would regret it. It’d be too late by then. 

This woman had just nearly experienced death, so she shouldn’t be seeking it again. He didn’t expect her to be so stubborn—she was still trying even with a broken cloth. 

This wasn’t an issue he should interfere with; after all, nobody could stop someone who desperately wanted to die. 

But suddenly, a memory resurfaced in Xiao Jue’s mind. Many years ago, on such a mid-autumn evening, a youth restlessly returned to his residence only to find his mother’s cold body waiting for him.

The scene before him seemed to overlap with the past. For a moment, he couldn’t tell whether he was in the present or the past. 

Fei Nu was behind him, looking at him with a puzzled expression. 

Xiao Jue took a deep breath and finally reached a compromise with himself. He walked to the woman and asked, “Why do you seek death?”

He Yan was taken by fright.

She clearly heard the other’s departing footsteps—why did he suddenly come back? She spent her entire life accommodating others and being manipulated; now that it was almost at its end, when she no longer wanted to indulge anyone else, this man had to come along and interfere, causing her to feel annoyed. She unleashed a wildfire of anger on him. 

Her response was almost a shout. “It’s none of your business!”

The young man grabbed her arm and dragged her up from the ground. 

He Yan was shocked. She struggled a little, but she’d already spent her energy stumbling on the road; moreover, she couldn’t see. For a short while, she was pulled into a walk before she got thrown down again, causing her to fall on her butt. 

The ground was soft beneath her. It was a patch of grass. 

He seemed to be standing right beside her. He bent down and asked in a cold voice, “Why do you seek death?” 

Anger had been bottling up in He Yan’s heart, too, hence she loudly replied, “I already said that it’s none of your business! There’s no moon tonight—that’s why I seek death! The road up the mountain is too slippery—that’s why I seek death! The rope I tied snapped—that’s why I seek death! I encountered a busybody like you here—that’s why I seek death! Are you done now?!” 

Her shouts were fierce, yet tears rolled down her cheeks. Her behavior was similar to that of an aggressive tiger, but she appeared more like a wet stray cat with nowhere else to go. 

Fei Nu stood anxiously behind Xiao Jue. 

It was a rare occurrence for Second Young Master Xiao to willingly muster up the patience to help out. However, the shrewdness this woman displayed was far more uncommon to see. 

After He Yan finished shouting, she felt something wipe her face. It was soft and fine, like the clouds pulled down by spring. 

The cold voice sounded, carrying a hint of warmth and imperceptible comfort.

“If you really want to be strong, then so what if you’re blind? You can make yourself into the most extraordinary blind person.” 

Her anger suddenly disappeared. 

She couldn’t conceal how battered and vulnerable she was—it was exposed to everyone before her. 

“This is nothing. Although I can’t see, I can still hear. With you by my side, I’ll be okay.” She once said this with a smile to Xu Zhi Heng. 

How could she be okay?

How could any of this be okay?

Every night, she’d repeatedly trace her fingers over her eyes, praying for the Heavens to take pity on her and let her see the light of tomorrow. She’d toss and turn, grit her teeth, and tell herself everything would be fine. She would pretend as if nothing was on her mind—after all, it couldn’t be helped. None of them knew this. 

None of them could understand. 

Then how did a random passerby understand? 

She couldn’t cry, be seen as vulnerable, complain, or lose her temper. Too long had passed; so long, in fact, that it was as if a silkworm had spun these emotions into a firm cocoon around her. She sat alone within this cocoon, isolated from the outside. 

The He Yan outside of this cocoon was gentle and optimistic, always putting others before her with a smile. The He Yan inside this cocoon felt pained and aggrieved, doing her utmost to repress her cries for help. 

For so many years, from her days living as He Rufei to now as He Yan, her mask had actually never been taken off. 

Until tonight, when a stranger passing by saw through everything. He took off her mask and found her tears. 

Her alertness and vigilance immediately dissipated. She slowly lowered her head as large drops of tears rolled down. 

He initially thought He Yan wouldn’t cry again after saying those words; unexpectedly, she cried even harder. The rain showed no signs of stopping, and the grass beneath her was already swamped. 

Xiao Jue curled his fingers, and Fei Nu stepped forward. He took the umbrella from Fei Nu and held it above He Yan’s head. 

Still, He Yan kept crying. 

He’d never seen such a fierce and bad-tempered woman that could also cry so much. He didn’t expect that foolishly optimistic He Rufei to have a younger sister with such a contrasting personality. 

Stunned by her crying, Xiao Jue was at the end of his patience. Finally, he said, “Don’t cry anymore.” 

“Why can’t I cry?” She was like a stray cat who didn’t know good from bad, exposing her claws to the one who fed her. Her voice was hoarse, yet she still argued, “Not only will I cry, but I also want to die. I’m already like this, so what’s the point of living? Wuwuwuwuwu² . . .” 

Xiao Jue was speechless.

He’d never coaxed a woman before, and this was the result of his first time? Why was she so stubborn? 

“What exactly should I do to stop your crying?” He asked, restraining his anger. “To stop you from trying to hang yourself again?” 

He Yan sobbed and sniffled. At this point, she didn’t have any intent to seek death again. At times, people would get stuck at a certain point, and it didn’t matter whether they could get over it or not. This passerby appeared out of nowhere, and his words weren’t very warm, but . . .

But she didn’t want to die anymore. 

She replied, “If you can give me a piece of candy right now, then I won’t seek death anymore.” 

When she was young, she loved to eat sweet things. After she turned five, however, Madam He became more strict with her in all aspects—afraid of being exposed, she had to get rid of her girlish fondness for sweets. Then, she was enlisted in the army, but there weren’t any sweet candies there, only dry and coarse bread. After she married, there was one time when He Wan Ru fell ill, so Xu Zhi Heng specially brought her a small box of sweets when visiting. 

With each sip of medicine He Wan Ru took, Xu Zhi Heng would feed her one of the sweets. He Yan saw this from the window when she passed by and, for a moment, a sour feeling arose—she wasn’t sure whether it was envy towards He Wan Ru for having Xu Zhi Heng take such good care of her or for receiving so much sweetness after just a small taste of bitterness. 

He Yan had never been willful. Yet tonight, for some reason, she wanted to make the most of her willfulness on this stranger. 

The young man was slightly taken aback. He tilted his head and glanced at the person beside him.

Even after a few wipes with the handkerchief, the woman’s cheeks were still stained with mud. Her eyes, though slightly reddened and swollen, were still extraordinarily bright, and her unyielding expression gave him a sense of déjà vu. 

It reminded him of a certain clumsy youth. 

After a moment of silence, his slender fingers untied the sachet around his waist. 

Fei Nu was stunned. 

The deep cerulean sachet was held up. He turned it upside down and squeezed the bottom, causing a piece of wrapped osmanthus candy to roll out. 

After such a long time, the candy wrapper had already fused with the candy and darkened to the point that its original appearance was indiscernible. 

After Madam Xiao’s death, Xiao Jue carried this last piece of osmanthus candy wherever he went. All these years, it accompanied him through many difficult times. Whenever he felt he couldn’t move forward anymore, he would look at the piece of candy and feel as if he could taste a little bit of sweetness in this world. 

This was the only bit of sweetness in his life. Now, he was going to give it to a crying woman who sought death. He thought to himself that, since he didn’t need sweetness in life anymore, then so be it. 

He Yan felt something being stuffed in her hand. 

She subconsciously clenched her hand and immediately wanted to unwrap it. 

“You can’t eat it,” the man said.

“What?” she responded. “Are you deceiving me? Did you just randomly find a stone and call it candy?” 

He Yan heard a faint hint of disappointment in his voice. “This piece of candy is the very last of its kind. It’s very sweet, but you can’t eat it.” 

“Are you out of your mind?” He Yan never thought she was such an insatiable person. This person must’ve been very soft-hearted and good-tempered to tolerate such continuous nonsense from her. “It’s very sweet, but I can’t eat it, and it’s the last of its kind. Don’t tell me it was bestowed by His Majesty!” 

She didn’t see how the handsome young man sitting beside her lowered his head and smiled lightly. “It’s more precious than any bestowed gift.” 

Taking advantage of his inattention, He Yan swiftly tore open the candy wrapper and stuffed the candy into her mouth. 

“You . . .” He was shocked.

“I’ve already eaten it! I’ve swallowed it!” He Yan declared shamelessly. 

The other was speechless. 

This was the first piece of candy she received in her life. It tasted strange, and mixed with her tears, it was also extremely bitter. She thought, Then so be it. 

“Has the rain stopped?” She couldn’t feel any rain falling on her. She reached out and groped around as she asked. 

The young man beside her had been kneeling on one leg and holding an umbrella above her this entire time. The umbrella wasn’t big, so he was mostly drenched. His sharp profile and lashes were wet with fine drops of rain, causing a light layer of tenderness to swirl in his eyes. 

“It stopped.”

“Is the moon in the sky?”

The sky was cloudy with not a single star shining—how could the moon be there? 

He answered, “Yes.” 

“What . . . is it like around us?” 

“The bright moon is like frost, and the breeze is like water³. The serene scenery is boundless.” 

He Yan’s lips grew into a small smile—her first one tonight. “How nice.”

She heard the person beside her ask, “You don’t want to die anymore?” 

“No.”

“Then go back home,” he said as he pulled He Yan up. She subconsciously wanted to grab his hand, but those well-defined and long fingers had already released her. 

Xiao Jue stepped in front of Fei Nu and ordered him in a whisper, “Send her to my sister-in-law’s room and have her send her back. I’m a man, so it won’t be appropriate for me to show up.” 

Fei Nu accepted. 

Before Fei Nu walked away, he suddenly added, “Warn Xu Zhi Heng to not go too far.”

He was sticking up for He Yan.

Fei Nu came over to support He Yan. As if sensing the other was going to leave, she stretched her hand out in his direction and said, “. . . Thank you. Who are you?”

He didn’t answer. He Yan only had time to grab onto a corner of his sleeve before it slipped out of her fingers, cold and soft like moonlight.  

She clearly couldn’t see anymore, but she seemed to catch a flash of light. It was warm yet cool, bright and glowing, without a hint of reproach. It was patient and tolerant, seeing through all her secrets and wrapping her in tenderness. 

In the end, she didn’t even know who he was. 

That was the most terrible Mid-Autumn Festival He Yan had ever spent. She was covered in mud with messy hair and a dirty face and was a hair’s breadth away from complete despair. Fortunately, the moon was by her side. 

There was no moon that night, but the moonlight was very beautiful. That thin ray of soft light kept her warm for many years after that.