Chapter 127 - Do You Like Me?
Above the river, the moon hung thousands of miles away whilst the chill penetrated their clothes. The pale luster of light seeped through the gaps between the forest tree branches, reminiscent of snow that hadn’t yet melted.
He Yan tilted her head and looked at the person sitting opposite her.
The young man’s eyes were like autumn water—even without color, they could move one’s heart. His sharp profile was heroic yet languid, and a light smile curled by the corners of his lips. She was instantly brought back to that night at the mountain temple.
It was you. She was at a loss, her mind in a bit of a daze.
She never knew who that person was even until the end.
She only remembered how someone walked her to a room in the mountain temple, where a woman with a gentle voice took care of her. She washed her clean and sent her back to Xu Zhi Heng.
Xu Zhi Heng asked her what happened—He Yan only replied that she went out for a walk but accidentally got lost. He didn’t say much; as for the woman who sent her back, Xu Zhi Heng never mentioned her again. Thus, she never found out who the man she encountered was.
However, she always kept the other’s words in mind, not forgetting even a single word: “If you really want to be strong, then so what if you’re blind? You can make yourself into the most extraordinary blind person.”
Later, she tried to distinguish objects through sound so she could live even without her sight. It was a challenging process, but each time she was about to give up, she’d think about the moon behind the mountain temple that night.
The moonlight was beautiful—it’d be a pity if she just gave up.
It wasn’t as if she hadn’t thought about how some of the things that occurred that night might’ve been intentional after she’d calmed down and recollected her memories. How did she so coincidentally overhear the maids talking outside the door? How did none of the servants from the Xu Family notice her staggering around the mountain? Moreover, when she was sent back to him, Xu Zhi Heng immediately believed her words and didn’t investigate.
They all hoped she’d free herself.
She wasn’t a snow-white kitten that’d been taken care of in a wealthy family’s yard. She wasn’t kept in the arms of madams or ladies, meek and delicate, happy just to be teased with a ball of yarn. She was a dirty and hardy stray cat that one would find walking out from the darkness of an alley. Even when blind, she could sit on the walls and hunt.
Since they all wished for her to die, then she’d do her utmost to live. After all, someone gave her a piece of candy and taught her to taste the world’s sweetness.
He Yan always thought that the passerby that night might’ve been a kind-hearted or even-tempered young master. She never would’ve expected it to be Xiao Jue.
How could it be him?
She softly spoke again. “Mrs. Xu . . . what kind of person was she?”
Xiao Jue chuckled and lazily responded, “She’s a very fierce and bad-tempered woman who likes to cry.”
He Yan smiled as well, but her eyes were slightly dewy. She asked, “Does Mrs. Xu know you talk behind her back like this?”
That night, she left her most deplorable side to Xiao Jue. Perhaps Xiao Jue, too, left his most gentle side to her that night.
He didn’t know that his actions that night became He Yan’s only salvation from utter despair.
The moon was cold and lonely as it hung in the sky. Nobody knew that he once took the moonlight and gently shone it upon a person.
“She doesn’t have the chance anymore,” Xiao Jue answered lightly.
Because Mrs. Xu was dead.
“Perhaps she does know.” He Yan lowered her head with a smile. She suddenly looked towards the sky and let out a sentimental sigh. “The moonlight is beautiful.”
Xiao Jue leaned back on his hands and lifted his head, too. Without looking at her, he asked, “Didn’t you say you were going to drink with Chu Zilan? Where’s the alcohol?”
In a clear voice, He Yan said, “With the mountain, river, lake, and sea around me, I hold a cup of wine.” She brought her hands together, allowing the moonlight to fill them to the brim, then raised her arm and saluted. “To the moon!”
The young man watched detachedly and sneered. “You’re mad.”
The girl turned to him and earnestly raised her ‘cup’ to him. “And to you!”
There was no longer any weariness and gloom in her eyes. The current He Yan had a brilliant smile and bright eyes that, on closer inspection, even had a hint of gratitude within.
Gratitude?
He raised his eyebrows and snorted, not playing along with her silly behavior.
He Yan stared into Xiao Jue’s eyes. In her heart, she silently said to him:
Thank you . . . so much.
…..
That night, He Yan and Xiao Jue sat there until very late. In the end, they only left because it was too cold on the mountain.
By the time they returned, it was midnight, hence she woke up later than usual the next morning. After lunch, she went to visit Chu Zhao to ask about last night but discovered an empty room.
“Are you looking for Chu Zilan?” Lin Shuanghe came over from the side. Seeing this, he said, “Chu Zilan already left for the capital with the group that came from Shuojing early in the morning.”
“This morning?” He Yan was taken aback. “He didn’t say it was this morning.”
“The people who came were in a hurry.” Lin Shuanghe spread his fan and swayed it. “Brother He, all encounters and departures are part of fate’s plan. He had to return to Shuojing sooner or later, so don’t insist on it too much.”
He Yan was puzzled—what did she insist on? She just felt a little regretful that she couldn’t even bid Chu Zhao farewell before he left. After all, during his time in Liangzhou, Fourth Young Master Chu spent every day earnestly explaining to her the relationships between those in the officialdom.
But since he was already gone, there was no point in saying such things.
Not long after Chu Zhao departed, Song Taotao and Cheng Lisu also left for Shuojing. The people sending them back were all assigned by Xiao Jue. Before they left, the young girl tearfully pulled on the corners of He Yan’s clothes. “Big Brother He, you have to come back and visit me . . .”
“Why would he visit you? You’re a girl, so how could a man like Big Brother come and see you?” Chen Lisu instantly dragged her away and replaced her with himself. He grinned and said to He Yan, “Big Brother, come visit me and stay as my residence guest instead! I’ll invite you out to feast at all of Shuojing’s restaurants!”
Song Taotao said, “Cheng Lisu!”
“Alright, alright, I’ll break off our engagement when we get back.” Cheng Lisu picked his ears and whispered, “Hag, only a ghost would want to marry you.”
Seeing how these two children mucked around, it seemed they wouldn’t feel lonely on their journey.
He Yan sent them to their carriage and, for a moment, felt a faint sense of loss. She usually found them too mischievous and rowdy, but now that they were truly leaving, she felt extremely reluctant to let them go.
When she was He Rufei, because of her identity, she wasn’t allowed to get too close to the other children in the residence. Cheng Lisu and Song Taotao were like the siblings she would’ve had in an ordinary family—in a way, much like He Yunsheng, they helped make up her illusion of a family.
Wang Ba and Jiang Jiao walked over. Jiang Jiao said, “Brother He.”
After their misunderstanding was resolved and Jiang Jiao finally believed He Yan didn’t steal away another’s wife, his attitude towards her improved a lot more. He continued, “I received some things from my family. I picked out some food and practical items—later, go and get them for me.”
Wang Ba sourly said, “How nice it is to be the young master of a martial arts school. You’re already here as a soldier, yet there are still people who deliver things to you.”
“Aren’t you the leader of a group of mountain bandits?” He Yan asked, puzzled. “Why don’t your subordinates send you things?”
“We don’t have money! We’re poor! Can’t a group of mountain bandits disband?!” The humiliated Wang Ba shouted angrily. “Why are you asking me? You didn’t receive anything either!”
“. . . I was just asking. Don’t get so agitated.” He Yan thought to herself, How can I be the same as Wang Ba? She was currently living incognito. If the He Family actually sent her things, then either they thought she wasn’t dying fast enough or they couldn’t wait for the authorities to send out an arrest order.
“Although . . . Brother Jiang, why did your family suddenly send you things?” He Yan asked.
Jiang Jiao helplessly responded, “Brother He, did you forget it’s New Year’s soon?”
New Year’s?
He Yan was taken aback. She’d been living too comfortably these days and truly almost forgot that it’d be New Year’s in a few days.
A new year was approaching.
A new year that belonged to ‘He Yan.’
She suddenly felt extremely happy. Seeing this, Jiang Jiao and Wang Ba were startled. Wang Ba asked in suspicion, “Why are you so happy? Did Chief Commander Xiao give you something good behind our backs again?”
He Yan responded in a deadpan manner, “That’s right! I received good alcohol, good food, and good prospects. Are you envious? Are you jealous?”
After that, she immediately turned around and left. Wang Ba was left in a daze for a moment before he chased after her, saying, “Hey, explain properly! What did he give you?! Stop running!”
…..
New Year’s was spent quite nicely at the Liangzhou Guard. Commander Xiao treated his subordinates and new recruits with equal favor—both the Southern Army and Liangzhou Guard feasted well on the New Year’s Eve dinner. There were vegetables, meat, and good alcohol, and it was extremely lively. The cheeriness and merriment diminished quite a bit of the border’s bitter cold.
But after that, they still had to train. He Yan, too, had to train with everyone else as her injuries had almost completely healed. Although she wanted to join the Nine Banners Battalion, the Southern Army’s daily training wasn’t something He Yan, who’d just recovered from severe injuries, could bear, so she could only work hard with the other Liangzhou Guard soldiers.
The days passed calmly like this until one day, Fei Nu received a letter from Lou County.
In the room, Fei Nu was currently speaking to Xiao Jue.
“Young Master, what Luan Ying means is that, if Chief Commander has found the right people to depart with and has made proper preparations, it’s best to leave within these few days. Jiyang is quite far from Liangzhou, so if we leave now, we’ll arrive in spring and be there in time for King Meng Ji’s daughter’s birthday. On the princess’s birthday, Chai Anxi may appear.”
Xiao Jue looked up. “And Qiao Huanqing?”
“He is the nephew of General Cui Yuezhi, a subordinate of Jiyang’s princess,” Fei Nu explained. “When Qiao Huanqing was young, he was taken away by the Cui Family’s enemies and later rescued by luck. He wandered the Central Plains, destitute, but then was adopted by a wealthy merchant. The wealthy merchant had no sons, hence Qiao Huanqing inherited his vast wealth. He married last year, but Cui Yuezhi somehow located his whereabouts. Right now, Cui Yuezhi has no other family, so he sent him a letter inviting him to attend the princess’s birthday banquet. Qiao Huanqing is extremely timid—before he even managed to arrive in Jiyang, he was robbed by mountain bandits and sustained some minor injuries while passing through Lou County. Hearing how there were many more thieves on the way to Jiyang, he refused to travel any further.”
Xiao Jue’s pupils moved slightly and he chuckled silently.
Needless to say, those thieves must’ve been sent by Luan Ying. Qiao Huanqing was quite a coward, too—he was so frightened that he didn’t even want to travel to Jiyang anymore.
“The people sent by Luan Ying reached an agreement with Cui Yuezhi—a replacement can be found to attend the banquet in place of Qiao Huanqing, but Qiao Huanqing must reward them with gold taels. Qiao Huanqing has been separated from his family for many years and it’s been decades since Cui Yuezhi last saw this nephew of his, hence nobody knows what Qiao Huanqing currently looks like. This person’s identity is suitable, and the timing is also appropriate. Luan Ying has delivered the passage token and jade token for proof of identity. Young Master, nothing should go wrong.”
The identity of a nephew who’d been separated from the vassal king’s trusted aide for many years was extremely convenient. However . . .
“That’s easy for you to say,” Chi Wu couldn’t help but say, “but Luan Ying already said that Cui Yuezhi invited both Qiao Huanqing and his newly wedded wife. Chief Commander is alright as he is, but where are we supposed to find a woman to attend as Chief Commander’s wife? It’s not like we can say the madam disappeared halfway through the journey!”
Fei Nu’s expression was blank, but he also knew that Chi Wu had a point. In the Southern Army’s Nine Banners Battalion, the one thing they never lacked was men. No matter what situation they found themselves in, they had all sorts of men they could depend on, whether they be fleet-footed, quick-witted, attractive, or eccentric. But Luan Ying . . . his son was already twenty, so there was no way he could be ‘Qiao Huanqing’s’ wife!
Xiao Jue frowned. For the first time, his handsome face also held a hint of uncertainty.
Fei Nu suggested, “We can find a sacrificial warrior who’s highly skilled in martial arts—”
“Absolutely not!” Chi Wu refused without hesitation. “As someone we haven’t known for long, how would we know if they’re friend or foe? If they secretly injure Young Master, can either of us bear the guilt?”
Chi Wu spoke frankly, leaving Fei Nu with no other words to say except, “Then do you have anyone in mind?”
“Me?” Chi Wu thought hard for a moment before solemnly responding, “Let’s not mention the Southern Army—even our Xiao Family doesn’t know many ladies who practice martial arts. When Madam was still alive, she didn’t like to see Master wielding weapons and practicing. Even the maids only knew how to write poems, paint, and garden. I haven’t encountered many women who know martial arts.”
“You’re trying to find a lady?” Someone was by the window, leisurely swaying their fan. With a graceful bearing, they continued, “I know where to find one. Xiao Huai Jin, don’t you think you’re wasting natural resources by leaving me to ask these two uncouth fellows? Have they even seen women before? Rather than asking them such a difficult question, you might as well ask me. I will dispel all your troubles.”
Xiao Jue side-eyed him before indifferently asking, “Who let him in?”
Chi Wu said, “Not me!”
Fei Nu said, “It wasn’t me.”
“Do I need to be let in?” Lin Shuanghe asked proudly. “Everyone at the Liangzhou Guard knows that you and I have been close friends for many years. Besides, I am the white-robed divine physician with miracle cures, so I’m further respected and free to go wherever I want at the Liangzhou Guard.”
“Throw him out.”
Fei Nu was speechless.
“Hey, Xiao Huai Jin, what kind of bad attitude is that?” As he spoke, he casually walked in from the main entrance and waved his hand, signaling for Chi Wu and Fei Nu to leave. “I’ll cure your young master’s hard-to-treat illness.”
After Fei Nu and Chi Wu retreated, Lin Shuanghe closed the doors and windows while Xiao Jue coldly watched from the side. Lin Shuanghe sat on a chair in front of Xiao Jue and asked, “You’re looking for a lady?”
Xiao Jue kicked him.
Lin Shuanghe shot up. “Use your words! Don’t always resort to violence! Just then, I wasn’t eavesdropping on you, I was just mindlessly listening to half of what you were saying. What lady with skilled martial arts? Why are you trying to find a lady like that? You want a female guard?”
Xiao Jue stared at him before he suddenly smiled. He lazily hooked up his lips and leisurely responded, “To find a ‘wife.’”
Lin Shuanghe gave him a confused look.
After a while, he suddenly came back to his senses and realized what Xiao Jue meant. “You want to get married? That can’t be!
“You’re always talking bad about that blind union and this mute marriage1, so if you really wanted to marry, you’d find a wife yourself. Why are you asking Fei Nu and the others to suggest women for you to choose from as if they’re vegetables at a marketplace? Xiao Huai Jin, are you messing with me?”
Xiao Jue said, “Did I say it was for me?”
Lin Shuanghe said, “You’re trying to find one for someone else?! You can’t even find one for yourself!”
Xiao Jue irritatedly said, “She’ll be fake. Do you understand what acting is?”
“Huh?” Lin Shuanghe was taken aback. He looked at Xiao Jue for a while before slowly regaining his senses. After noticing Xiao Jue’s annoyed expression, he finally approached him and asked, “Are you trying to find a fake wife to deal with something like last time when you dealt with Sun Xiangfu in Liangzhou?” Lin Shuanghe had finally discovered the truth about that matter from Song Taotao. The young girl was no match for such a genius—Lin Shuanghe knew exactly what happened with just a few words.
“You’re not as stupid as I thought.”
“Don’t you already have someone right in front of you?” Without another thought, Lin Shuanghe said, “There’s my Little Miss He! Did you forget that my Little Miss He is a lady? Moreover, her martial arts are outstanding! She’s brave, intelligent, unpretentious, and extremely cute! If she could play as your nephew, then she’d definitely be able to act as your wife!”
Xiao Jue said, “No.”
“Why not?” Lin Shuanghe was discontent. “She was able to call you ‘Father,’ so is calling her ‘Madam’ such a grievance to you?”
Xiao Jue took a sip of tea and looked at him indifferently. “Were you bribed by He Yan to speak up for her?”
“Why would I accept other people’s silver when I’m this rich? You, on the other hand . . .” Lin Shuanghe got closer. “. . . Why do you oppose it so much? Xiao Huai Jin, Xiao Huai Jin, have you forgotten? You’re trying to find a fake wife, so you shouldn’t use the selective requirements you expect from a real wife. Or could it be . . .” He stood up straight and swayed his fan. In a mysterious tone, he asked, “. . . You’re afraid of falling in love with her?”
Cough, cough, cough. Xiao Jue choked.
Expressionless, he said, “You can scram now.”
“Then I’ll scram,” Lin Shuanghe huffed, “but don’t blame me later for not reminding you—He Yan is your best option. Although I don’t know what exactly you’re planning on doing, knowing you, I’m sure it’s very dangerous. Under such conditions, ordinary ladies definitely can’t bear it, while those who can are unable to gain your trust. He Yan, at the very least, has fought alongside you several times, and you have some understanding of her. As for loyalty . . .” His eyes carried a hint of playfulness as they landed on Xiao Jue. “You’re not planning on bringing Shen Muxue, are you? I believe she’ll be extremely willing to accompany you, but I’m afraid that, if Master Shen found out, he’d rush all the way to Liangzhou to chop off your legs.
“The number of ladies I’ve met is higher than the number of soldiers you’ve trained. Right now, Little Miss He doesn’t seem to like you. To have a lady who doesn’t like you pretend to be your wife is the best way to keep certain incidents at a minimum. As for Shen Muxue? If you choose her, you’d definitely find yourself in big trouble. The most important thing is that Little Miss He has been disguising herself as a man this entire time, so other than you, nobody knows what she actually looks like. Since she came out of the blue, it’ll be easy for her to hide her identity if you’re exposed.”
Xiao Jue calmly looked at the teacup in his hand. It was unclear whether he took Lin Shuanghe’s words to heart or not.
“It’s difficult to guess what a woman is thinking. Little Miss He is simple and frank. Whenever she’s thinking of something, it’s either written on her face or she says it directly. She’s a suitable match.”
“You might as well have called her an idiot.”
Lin Shuanghe choked and angrily said, “I’ve said everything that needed to be said. I only said this much because we’re friends. Think long and hard about my words before choosing someone!” Then, he gripped his fan and left.
After he left, Xiao Jue placed the teacup back on the table and sighed softly.
…..
Late in the night, after He Yan washed up, she sat before the mirror.
The soldiers ate too well on New Year’s. In the bronze mirror, her reflection seemed a little rounder. Fortunately, Miss He was innately slim and frail—once some weight was put on, rather than appearing too well-rounded, she lost some of her gauntness and gained some charm instead. She truly looked like some family’s precious young daughter.
However, in the barracks, this sort of charm was incompatible with her current needs.
He Yan waved her fists at her reflection and made a fierce expression. Only after seeing how her mightiness hadn’t diminished did she feel relieved. She walked towards her bed and climbed in.
The bed was as cold as a block of ice. There wasn’t enough charcoal here, so even though the weather had warmed since New Year’s, it was still a little cold on nights like this.
One had to use their body to warm the mattress beneath them.
It only just got slightly warmer before she suddenly heard someone knocking on her door. He Yan was shocked before she cursed in her heart, Who could it be? It’s late, and I finally warmed my bed. If I go out, I’ll be cold again. The knocking continued, so even if He Yan wanted to pretend she couldn’t hear, she couldn’t. She had no choice but to drape her outer garments over her shoulders and go to the door. Once she opened it, she found Lin Shuanghe standing outside.
This person. On such a cold night, he wore only a thin, white robe. Even though it was padded with cotton, it was definitely not thick enough; otherwise, he wouldn’t look as elegant. Moreover, he was even fanning himself. He Yan couldn’t help but grip it. “Doctor Lin, can you stop fanning? It’s too cold.”
Lin Shuanghe stopped and smiled slightly. “Okay.”
“Is something the matter for you to visit me this late?”
Lin Shuanghe said, “Brother He, can we talk inside?”
“I have no problem with that,” He Yan answered, “but Brother Lin, weren’t you the one who said it’s not good for a man and woman to—”
Before she could finish her words, the young man brushed past her and entered. As he walked in, he said, “It’s so cold!”
He Yan was speechless.
She closed the door and turned around. Lin Shuanghe was still rambling, “Why don’t you light some charcoal in your room? Isn’t it too cold?”
“There’s no more,” He Yan patiently responded. “Doctor Lin, since it’s so cold, can you directly tell me what the matter is?”
“After some thought, I believed I had to personally tell you of this matter—”
A ‘thump thump thump’ interrupted him. The two looked at the divider door. The knocking came from the other side.
He Yan was taken aback. Since it was the divider door being knocked on, did that mean it was Xiao Jue? Why would he knock so late in the night? She looked at Lin Shuanghe, but he seemed just as confused. Hence, He Yan walked over and hesitated for a moment before unlocking the door.
Second Young Master Xiao’s expression was calm and elegant. His gaze flitted across Lin Shuanghe before it quickly returned to He Yan. She wasn’t sure if she saw wrong, but his expression looked a little strange.
“Chief Commander . . . is something the matter?”
“Miss He.” He stepped forward and leaned slightly towards her so that their eyes were level. The young man was extremely handsome. His narrow eyes were like autumn water brimming with moonlight, and at such a close range, she could distinctly see each of his long and slightly curled eyelashes. His voice was low and magnetic, capable of causing one’s cheeks to redden and heart to stutter.
“Do you like me?”
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