Of Mountains and Rivers 22
Kidnapping a Snake Wasn’t a Big Deal, Even if This Snake Appeared to be Nanshan’s Pet. Thinking About That Poor…
Kidnapping a snake wasn’t a big deal, even if this snake appeared to be Nanshan’s pet; surely that poor and generous person who set two dollars per jin of cured meat wouldn’t mind too much…
But that didn’t mean he could feel at ease kidnapping a child.
Chu Huan looked at Little Bald-Head, who was before him gamboling and playing with the pig, so anxious he was spouting smoke through his seven orifices.
“Come here,” Chu Huan said poorly in the Liyi Clan’s language, his face straightened; he simultaneously squeezed out an expression of dignity. “Why did you chase here? You’re just asking for a beating, aren’t you?”
When Little Bald-Head heard this, not only did he look far from afraid, he happily hugged the pig’s neck and even began laughing.
Chu Huan: “…”
This was the shortcoming of a mute learning a language – he could understand it but couldn’t speak it; whilst others were laughing to the point their intestines were going to break, he still didn’t know what he said wrong.
Chu Huan strugglingly corrected his pronunciation, comparable to, “(1) Find… Recruit; Zhao… Hit.”
Little Bald-Head was so delighted he began rolling on the ground.
“Nevermind,” Chu Huan said in despair. He found himself unable to be firm; he could only plead with tactful words. With no alternative way out, he dug through his pockets but found all his candy left in the small house he lived in, not a single one brought out with him.
“I truly don’t have any more candy,” Chu Huan spat out as clearly as possible as he turned his jacket pocket inside out for Little Bald-Head. “Truly, I’m not lying to you. Be good, I’ll send you back home.”
Little Bald-Head didn’t buy it; he leapt up and accurately grabbed onto Chu Huan’s leg.
It appeared he’d already become a professional leg-hugger.
Seeing this, the pig seemed to want to follow suit but was frozen in place by Chu Huan’s murderous eyes; it could only lividly dig the earth with its snout. On the other hand, the small venomous snake acted like it was a minister who’d given outstanding service – it arrogantly climbed onto Chu Huan’s shoulders, viewing the mountains with a sweep of its glance as it looked down on the other beings; of course, it was quickly pinched by Chu Huan and thrown aside.
Chu Huan: “They were all brought by you – what mess are you trying to make?”
How should a dress redress its injustice? This merciless question was destined to be insoluble, so it dejectedly climbed onto Little Bald-Head’s arm, looking like a good-for-nothing in its coiled state.
Chu Huan communicated with Little Bald-Head for a while, feeling as if he was starting to become more familiar with the language; the heavenly pig-rider finally couldn’t bear it anymore, his patience finally exhausted.
Hence, without warning, Chu Huan directly lifted Little Bald-Head like a backpack, threw him on the horse, and, at top speed, backtracked.
The big pig snorted a few times before hurriedly rushing off to follow.
At first, Little Bald-Head was very happy. As they continued walking, he felt there was something wrong with the path; he bit his fingers and looked around doubtfully.
When they returned to the foggy river, he finally realised with hindsight he’d been repatriated – Little Bald-Head had consciously cast aside his home and given up his career, sacrificing many things and investing limitless intelligence and wisdom – pursuing the snake’s traces throughout the entire journey – before finally catching Chu Huan’s shadow.
But after happily running out to elope, he was unjustifiably repatriated; was there anything more callous and unreasonable than this?
Little Bald-Head’s heart was filled with endless grief and hate, hence he fiercely began struggling.
It’s unfortunate that his struggle was, in Chu Huan’s eyes, no different from a cat blindly swiping its claws – he was easily suppressed. He had no choice but to use his killer move. Opening his mouth, he loudly burst into tears.
With a rude voice and manner, Chu Huan said, “Why are you crying? Are you a man or not? Shut up!”
Little Bald-Head took a deep breath; in order to embody his pure macho-ness, he cried out a string of resonating alarm noises.
“…” Chu Huan was silent for a long time before finally acknowledging he’d been conquered. He patted Little Bald-Head’s back and softened his voice. “Alright, alright, darling, let’s not feel wronged anymore, okay? Alright…”
Actually, the more an adult’s attitude changes between soft and hard – continuously fickle – the more little brats would understand they can’t do anything against them. Secure in the knowledge he had a backing, Little Bald-Head became increasingly more energetic, shamelessly making a scene as he rolled on horseback.
Chu Huan, both mentally and physically exhausted, stood by the foggy river’s edge at wit’s end.
After this battle, he no longer wanted to be anyone’s ‘uncle’ – no matter what his childhood sweetheart would give birth to.
Chu Huan: “Stop crying – bring me across the river, okay? I’ll bring you to your mum.”
No one took notice of him.
Chu Huan: “If you keep crying, I’ll leave you here.”
No one took notice of him.
Chu Huan stared deeply at the sky and sighed. “My ancestors, I’m begging you…”
He was helpless in the face of crisis for a moment; seeing how Little Bald-Head wasn’t going to stop anytime soon, he could only turn to the small venomous snake. “Do you know the way?”
After he asked, Chu Huan laughed at himself, feeling like he was a little weird.
Who would’ve known the small venomous snake would slowly slither to the ground and leisurely make its way into the waters? The water rippled with a string of barely visible waves; it exposed its dark green head above the water’s surface and spat out its tongue at Chu Huan.
It actually does know the way!
Chu Huan immediately patted the horse. “Follow it.”
He brought a zoo with him alone. For the second time this day, he entered the densely foggy river.
Chu Huan never thought there’d be a day he’d lead a pig, a horse, and a wild child through a misleading, foggy river that couldn’t even pick up signals with a snake as their guide.
…Of course, he also never thought the snake, who looked extremely confident in itself, would get lost.
After his watch’s hour hand had already crookedly passed around two numbers, he realised his own stupidity – he actually believed in a snake’s IQ.
Just like this, they were stuck within the dense fog. The small venomous snake circled uneasily around the water a few times; in the end, it cowardly used the horse’s body to climb up Chu Huan’s pants.
Even the horse became fretful.
Chu Huan once confirmed with Nanshan that if he let the horse free after he left, it’d be able to find the clan on its own; in theory, this meant the white horse should’ve been able to cross the river. But exactly what path did this stupid snake lead them on for the old horse, who originally knew the way, become dizzy with confusion?
Little Bald-Head had long tired himself out from crying. He laid on horseback, both hands holding onto Chu Huan’s shirt, whining and hiccuping, his big eyes wandering around with loss.
Chu Huan: “Do you recognise this area?”
Little Bald-Head obediently shook his head.
Chu Huan sighed. At this time, the compass function on his watch was completely useless, spinning like a waltz as if it’d encountered a chaotic magnetic field. In addition, he had no way of determining the sunlight’s direction within the white fog; the only things visible were the icy river and boundless fog.
He couldn’t even tell where the fog was thinner.
Suddenly, Chu Huan’s body chilled; he looked down and saw that the little venomous snake had dug its way into his clothes – only when this snake felt cold and couldn’t resist the biological instincts of cold-blooded animals would it stick itself against a person’s skin.
Soon, Chu Huan also felt the temperature drop. He unbuttoned his wind jacket and wrapped Little Bald-Head, who was only wearing an undergarment and fart curtain, into his embrace; he patted the horse. “Let’s go – don’t stop.”
The little animals seemed to know they caused trouble – the noisy ones shut their mouths, not even daring to breathe heavy. Chu Huan lightly held the reins, carefully observing their surroundings whilst also letting the horse find its own way.
Suddenly, Chu Huan heard the sound of flowing water abruptly become rapid.
His back stiffened; his body could already instinctively feel the danger before his consciousness. He abruptly clamped the horse’s belly. The white horse was suddenly frightened by something; like an arrow leaving its string, it leapt up. A loud noise transmitted from behind before a heart-breaking sound of struggling sounded, water splashing everywhere. Chu Huan turned his head and saw a large black shadow flash past in the river’s water. The pig that was just behind the horse had disappeared. Thin streams of blood followed the water’s flow towards them.
Little Bald-Head abruptly trembled and gripped Chu Huan’s shoulders; he extended his head to see. Chu Huan pressed his head down with one hand whilst the other hand drew out his military bayonet.
“Hush,” he said, “it’s alright. Don’t be scared.”
There was a sudden silence around them. The thing just then seemed to be looking for a way to munch down, but the smell of blood had already wafted to their noses.
The white horse may have been the king among all the other Liyi Clan’s horses – it was calmer than any other horse Chu Huan had ridden – but it was still an animal after all; it couldn’t mask its ‘flight or fight’ instinct like a specially-trained person. Chu Huan could clearly feel its four legs slightly tremble.
Suddenly, the white horse took a large, abrupt step back. A colossal monster emerged from the water, almost reaching the same level as Chu Huan’s line of sight. A wind of fishiness assaulted his nostrils. The snake on Chu Huan’s chest erected its upper body, exposing a snake’s subconscious attack posture when they’re frightened.
Immediately, a gale hit them in the face, almost splitting the thick white mist. That thing looked similar to a snake – its entire body was covered by reptilian scales, more robust than a snake’s and more flexible than a lizard’s; it had a flat face yet its mouth was protruded, a mouthful of disorderly knife-sharp fangs arranged like the bristles of a shoe brush within it. There wasn’t even a place for it to rest its tongue.
It bit down towards Chu Huan.
Chu Huan’s body was almost entirely laid on horseback. The sharp bayonet emerged from the most bizarre area and was ferociously stabbed into the monster’s chin. The bayonet drilled a shallow hole under the monster’s thick and coarse scales. When its large teeth had wrapped around his back, he slammed into the bloody hole.
In the pain, the monster opened its mouth and bellowed.
He was unable to describe the sound – Chu Huan only felt his temples tighten and his entire heart trembling. He covered one of Little Bald-Head’s ears with one hand, pressed his other ear against his chest, and harshly pulled back the reins. The white horse began walking with small steps, dangerously brushing past the big guy’s side.
At that moment, a weird arc of light suddenly erupted from the forever dark and dim triangular bayonet, dividing the dense fog in two; it swiftly and fiercely pierced the monster’s eyes.
Vicious and merciless, neat and tidy – the bayonet entered one of the monster’s eyes and exited from the other.
The monster wailed in anguish before death, causing the entire river and expansive fog to quiver. Chu Huan felt as if he’d suffered from a severe infrasonic wave attack. The familiar, psychasthenic headache suddenly surged up with added intensity; almost everything was black in Chu Huan’s vision and a fishy taste rose up from his throat.
(1) Find, recruit, Zhao, Hit – ‘找……招、赵……打’ The first three characters are all pronounced ‘zhao’, but with different tones.
